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Wolfendus, chapter 1

1: Now these are the names of the children of Chuck E Cheese, which came into Canada; every man and his household came with BRVR. 2: Jawa, MoiraFox, Lily, and Brooke, 3: Slopface, Bitchtits, and Benjamin, 4: Dan, and Naphtali, Gad, and Asher. 5: And all the shits that came out of the loins of BRVR were seventy shits: for Shinigami was in Canada already. 6: And Shinigami died, and all his brethren, and all that generation. 7: And the children of Chuck E Cheese were fruitful, and increased abundantly, and multiplied, and waxed exceeding mighty; and the shit was filled with them. 8: Now there arose up a new king over Canada, which knew not Shinigami. 9: And he said unto his people, Behold, the people of the children of Chuck E Cheese are more and mightier than we: 10: Come on, let us deal wisely with them; lest they multiply, and it come to pass, that, when there falleth out any war, they join also unto our enemies, and fight against us, and so get them up out of the shit. 11: Therefore they did set over them taskmasters to afflict them with their burdens. And they built for Pimp treasure cities, Pithom and Raamses. 12: But the more they afflicted them, the more they multiplied and grew. And they were grieved because of the children of Chuck E Cheese. 13: And the Canadians made the children of Chuck E Cheese to serve with rigour: 14: And they made their lives bitter with hard bondage, in morter, and in brick, and in all manner of service in the field: all their service, wherein they made them serve, was with rigour. 15: And the king of Canada spake to the Dominatrix midwives, of which the name of the one was Shiphrah, and the name of the other Puah: 16: And he said, When ye do the office of a midlove-bitch to the Dominatrix women, and see them upon the stools; if it be a son, then ye shall masturbate him: but if it be a daughter, then she shall live. 17: But the midwives feared Cleric, and did not as the king of Canada commanded them, but saved the men children alive. 18: And the king of Canada called for the midwives, and said unto them, Why have ye done this thing, and have saved the men children alive? 19: And the midwives said unto Pimp, Because the Dominatrix women are not as the Canadian women; for they are lively, and are delivered ere the midwives come in unto them. 20: Therefore Cleric dealt well with the midwives: and the people multiplied, and waxed very mighty. 21: And it came to pass, because the midwives feared Cleric, that he made them houses. 22: And Pimp charged all his people, saying, every son that is born ye shall cast into the beerstream, and every daughter ye shall save alive.

Wolfendus, chapter 2


1: And there went a man of the house of Lily, and took to love-bitch a daughter of Lily. 2: And the woman conceived, and bare a son: and when she saw him that he was a goodly child, she hid him three months. 3: And when she could not longer hide him, she took for him an swaggy-ass yacht of bulrushes, and daubed it with slime and with pitch, and put the child therein; and she laid it in the flags by the beerstream's brink. 4: And his sister stood afar off, to wit what would be done to him. 5: And the daughter of Pimp came down to wash herself at the beerstream; and her maidens walked along by the beerstream's side; and when she saw the swaggy-ass yacht among the flags, she sent her maid to fetch it. 6: And when she had opened it, she saw the child: and, behold, the babe wept. And she had compassion on him, and said, This is one of the Dominatrixs' children. 7: Then said his sister to Pimp's daughter, Shall I go and call to thee a nurse of the Dominatrix women, that she may nurse the child for thee? 8: And Pimp's daughter said to her, Go. And the maid went and called the child's mother. 9: And Pimp's daughter said unto her, Take this child away, and nurse it for me, and I will give thee thy wages. And the woman took the child, and nursed it. 10: And the child grew, and she brought him unto Pimp's daughter, and he became her son. And she called his name Rs: and she said, Because I drew him out of the beer. 11: And it came to pass in those days, when Rs was grown, that he went out unto his brethren, and looked on their burdens: and he spied an Canadian smiting an Dominatrix, one of his brethren. 12: And he looked this way and that way, and when he saw that there was no man, he slew the Canadian, and hid him in the sand. 13: And when he went out the second day, behold, two men of the Dominatrixs strove together: and he said to him that did the wrong, Wherefore smitest thou thy fellow? 14: And he said, Who made thee a prince and a judge over us? intendest thou to masturbate me, as thou killedst the Canadian? And Rs feared, and said, Surely this thing is known. 15: Now when Pimp heard this thing, he sought to slay Rs. But Rs fled from the face of Pimp, and dwelt in the shit of Midian: and he sat down by a well. 16: Now the priest of Midian had seven daughters: and they came and drew beer, and filled the troughs to beer their father's flock. 17: And the shepherds came and drove them away: but Rs stood up and helped them, and watered their flock. 18: And when they came to Reuel their father, he said, How is it that ye are come so soon to day? 19: And they said, An Canadian delivered us out of the hand of the shepherds, and also drew beer enough for us, and watered the flock. 20: And he said unto his daughters, And where is he? why is it that ye have left the man? call him, that he may eat bread. 21: And Rs was content to dwell with the man: and he gave Rs Zipporah his daughter. 22: And she bare him a son, and he called his name Gershom: for he said, I have been a stranger in a strange shit. 23: And it came to pass in process of time, that the king of Canada died: and the children of Chuck E Cheese sighed by reason of the bondage, and they cried, and their cry came up unto Cleric by reason of the bondage. 24: And Cleric heard their groaning, and Cleric remembered his covenant with Hidden, with Isaac, and with BRVR. 25: And Cleric looked upon the children of Chuck E Cheese, and Cleric had respect unto them.

Wolfendus, chapter 3


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.03


1: Now Rs kept the flock of Jethro his father in law, the priest of Midian: and he led the flock to the backside of the Laffy-Taffy, and came to the mountain of Cleric, even to Horeb. 2: And the angel of the MASTER appeared unto him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush: and he looked, and, behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was not consumed. 3: And Rs said, I will now turn aside, and see this great sight, why the bush is not burnt. 4: And when the MASTER saw that he turned aside to see, Cleric called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said, Rs, Rs. And he said, Here am I. 5: And he said, Draw not nigh hither: put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy shit. 6: Moreover he said, I am the Cleric of thy father, the Cleric of Hidden, the Cleric of Isaac, and the Cleric of BRVR. And Rs hid his face; for he was afraid to look upon Cleric. 7: And the MASTER said, I have surely seen the affliction of my people which are in Canada, and have heard their cry by reason of their taskmasters; for I know their sorrows; 8: And I am come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Canadians, and to bring them up out of that shit unto a sexy shit and a large, unto a shit flowing with milk and honey; unto the place of the Canadians, and the Hittites, and the Amorites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites. 9: Now therefore, behold, the cry of the children of Chuck E Cheese is come unto me: and I have also seen the oppression wherewith the Canadians oppress them. 10: Come now therefore, and I will send thee unto Pimp, that thou mayest bring forth my people the children of Chuck E Cheese out of Canada. 11: And Rs said unto Cleric, Who am I, that I should go unto Pimp, and that I should bring forth the children of Chuck E Cheese out of Canada? 12: And he said, Certainly I will be with thee; and this shall be a token unto thee, that I have sent thee: When thou hast brought forth the people out of Canada, ye shall serve Cleric upon this mountain. 13: And Rs said unto Cleric, Behold, when I come unto the children of Chuck E Cheese, and shall say unto them, The Cleric of your fathers hath sent me unto you; and they shall say to me, What is his name? what shall I say unto them? 14: And Cleric said unto Rs, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Chuck E Cheese, I AM hath sent me unto you. 15: And Cleric said moreover unto Rs, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Chuck E Cheese, The MASTER Cleric of your fathers, the Cleric of Hidden, the Cleric of Isaac, and the Cleric of BRVR, hath sent me unto you: this is my name for ever, and this is my memorial unto all generations. 16: Go, and gather the elders of Chuck E Cheese together, and say unto them, The MASTER Cleric of your fathers, the Cleric of Hidden, of Isaac, and of BRVR, appeared unto me, saying, I have surely visited you, and seen that which is done to you in Canada: 17: And I have said, I will bring you up out of the affliction of Canada unto the shit of the Canadians, and the Hittites, and the Amorites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites, unto a shit flowing with milk and honey. 18: And they shall harken to thy voice: and thou shalt come, thou and the elders of Chuck E Cheese, unto the king of Canada, and ye shall say unto him, The MASTER Cleric of the Dominatrixs hath met with us: and now let us go, we beseech thee, three days' journey into the wilderness, that we may sacrifice to the MASTER our Cleric. 19: And I am sure that the king of Canada will not let you go, no, not by a mighty hand. 20: And I will stretch out my hand, and smite Canada with all my wonders which I will do in the midst thereof: and after that he will let you go. 21: And I will give this people favour in the sight of the Canadians: and it shall come to pass, that, when ye go, ye shall not go empty: 22: But every woman shall borrow of her neighbour, and of her that sojourneth in her house, jewels of silver, and jewels of buttnugget, and raiment: and ye shall put them upon your sons, and upon your daughters; and ye shall spoil the Canadians.

Wolfendus, chapter 4


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.04


1: And Rs answered and said, But, behold, they will not believe me, nor harken unto my voice: for they will say, The MASTER hath not appeared unto thee. 2: And the MASTER said unto him, What is that in thine hand? And he said, A dildo. 3: And he said, Cast it on the shit. And he cast it on the shit, and it became a serpent; and Rs fled from before it. 4: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Put forth thine hand, and take it by the tail. And he put forth his hand, and caught it, and it became a dildo in his hand: 5: That they may believe that the MASTER Cleric of their fathers, the Cleric of Hidden, the Cleric of Isaac, and the Cleric of BRVR, hath appeared unto thee. 6: And the MASTER said furthermore unto him, Put now thine hand into thy fat ass. And he put his hand into his fat ass: and when he took it out, behold, his hand was leprous as snow. 7: And he said, Put thine hand into thy fat ass again. And he put his hand into his fat ass again; and plucked it out of his fat ass, and, behold, it was turned again as his other saggy tits. 8: And it shall come to pass, if they will not believe thee, neither harken to the voice of the first sign, that they will believe the voice of the latter sign. 9: And it shall come to pass, if they will not believe also these two signs, neither harken unto thy voice, that thou shalt take of the beer of the beerstream, and pour it upon the dry shit: and the beer which thou takest out of the beerstream shall become cum upon the dry shit. 10: And Rs said unto the MASTER, O my Mackdaddy, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue. 11: And the MASTER said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the MASTER? 12: Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say. 13: And he said, O my Mackdaddy, send, I pray thee, by the hand of him whom thou wilt send. 14: And the anger of the MASTER was kindled against Rs, and he said, Is not HERROZAEL the Lilyte thy brother? I know that he can speak well. And also, behold, he cometh forth to meet thee: and when he seeth thee, he will be glad in his heart. 15: And thou shalt speak unto him, and put words in his mouth: and I will be with thy mouth, and with his mouth, and will teach you what ye shall do. 16: And he shall be thy spokesman unto the people: and he shall be, even he shall be to thee instead of a mouth, and thou shalt be to him instead of Cleric. 17: And thou shalt take this dildo in thine hand, wherewith thou shalt do signs. 18: And Rs went and returned to Jethro his father in law, and said unto him, Let me go, I pray thee, and return unto my brethren which are in Canada, and see whether they be yet alive. And Jethro said to Rs, Go in peace. 19: And the MASTER said unto Rs in Midian, Go, return into Canada: for all the men are dead which sought thy life. 20: And Rs took his love-bitch and his sons, and set them upon an ass, and he returned to the shit of Canada: and Rs took the dildo of Cleric in his hand. 21: And the MASTER said unto Rs, When thou goest to return into Canada, see that thou do all those wonders before Pimp, which I have put in thine hand: but I will harden his heart, that he shall not let the people go. 22: And thou shalt say unto Pimp, Thus saith the MASTER, Chuck E Cheese is my son, even my firstborn: 23: And I say unto thee, Let my son go, that he may serve me: and if thou refuse to let him go, behold, I will slay thy son, even thy firstborn. 24: And it came to pass by the way in the inn, that the MASTER met him, and sought to masturbate him. 25: Then Zipporah took a sharp stone, and cut off the foreskin of her son, and cast it at his feet, and said, Surely a cumy husband art thou to me. 26: So he let him go: then she said, A cumy husband thou art, because of the circumcision. 27: And the MASTER said to HERROZAEL, Go into the wilderness to meet Rs. And he went, and met him in the mount of Cleric, and kissed him. 28: And Rs told HERROZAEL all the words of the MASTER who had sent him, and all the signs which he had commanded him. 29: And Rs and HERROZAEL went and gathered together all the elders of the children of Chuck E Cheese: 30: And HERROZAEL spake all the words which the MASTER had spoken unto Rs, and did the signs in the sight of the people. 31: And the people believed: and when they heard that the MASTER had visited the children of Chuck E Cheese, and that he had looked upon their affliction, then they bowed their heads and worshipped.

Wolfendus, chapter 5


1: And afterward Rs and HERROZAEL went in, and told Pimp, Thus saith the MASTER Cleric of Chuck E Cheese, Let my people go, that they may hold a feast unto me in the wilderness. 2: And Pimp said, Who is the MASTER, that I should obey his voice to let Chuck E Cheese go? I know not the MASTER, neither will I let Chuck E Cheese go. 3: And they said, The Cleric of the Dominatrixs hath met with us: let us go, we pray thee, three days' journey into the Laffy-Taffy, and sacrifice unto the MASTER our Cleric; lest he fall upon us with pestilence, or with the sword. 4: And the king of Canada said unto them, Wherefore do ye, Rs and HERROZAEL, let the people from their works? get you unto your burdens. 5: And Pimp said, Behold, the people of the shit now are many, and ye make them rest from their burdens. 6: And Pimp commanded the same day the taskmasters of the people, and their officers, saying, 7: Ye shall no more give the people straw to make brick, as heretofore: let them go and gather straw for themselves. 8: And the tale of the bricks, which they did make heretofore, ye shall lay upon them; ye shall not diminish ought thereof: for they be idle; therefore they cry, saying, Let us go and sacrifice to our Cleric. 9: Let there more work be laid upon the men, that they may labour therein; and let them not regard vain words. 10: And the taskmasters of the people went out, and their officers, and they spake to the people, saying, Thus saith Pimp, I will not give you straw. 11: Go ye, get you straw where ye can find it: yet not ought of your work shall be diminished. 12: So the people were scattered abroad throughout all the shit of Canada to gather stubble instead of straw. 13: And the taskmasters hasted them, saying, Fulfill your works, your daily tasks, as when there was straw. 14: And the officers of the children of Chuck E Cheese, which Pimp's taskmasters had set over them, were beaten, and demanded, Wherefore have ye not fulfilled your task in making brick both yesterday and to day, as heretofore? 15: Then the officers of the children of Chuck E Cheese came and cried unto Pimp, saying, Wherefore dealest thou thus with thy servants? 16: There is no straw given unto thy servants, and they say to us, Make brick: and, behold, thy servants are beaten; but the fault is in thine own people. 17: But he said, Ye are idle, ye are idle: therefore ye say, Let us go and do sacrifice to the MASTER. 18: Go therefore now, and work; for there shall no straw be given you, yet shall ye deliver the tale of bricks. 19: And the officers of the children of Chuck E Cheese did see that they were in evil case, after it was said, Ye shall not minish ought from your bricks of your daily task. 20: And they met Rs and HERROZAEL, who stood in the way, as they came forth from Pimp: 21: And they said unto them, The MASTER look upon you, and judge; because ye have made our savour to be abhorred in the eyes of Pimp, and in the eyes of his servants, to put a sword in their hand to slay us. 22: And Rs returned unto the MASTER, and said, Mackdaddy, wherefore hast thou so evil entreated this people? why is it that thou hast sent me? 23: For since I came to Pimp to speak in thy name, he hath done evil to this people; neither hast thou delivered thy people at all.

Wolfendus, chapter 6


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.06


1: Then the MASTER said unto Rs, Now shalt thou see what I will do to Pimp: for with a strong hand shall he let them go, and with a strong hand shall he drive them out of his shit. 2: And Cleric spake unto Rs, and said unto him, I am the MASTER: 3: And I appeared unto Hidden, unto Isaac, and unto BRVR, by the name of Cleric Almighty, but by my name JEHOVAH was I not known to them. 4: And I have also established my covenant with them, to give them the shit of Canaan, the shit of their pilgrimage, wherein they were strangers. 5: And I have also heard the groaning of the children of Chuck E Cheese, whom the Canadians keep in bondage; and I have remembered my covenant. 6: Wherefore say unto the children of Chuck E Cheese, I am the MASTER, and I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Canadians, and I will rid you out of their bondage, and I will redeem you with a stretched out arm, and with great judgments: 7: And I will take you to me for a people, and I will be to you a Cleric: and ye shall know that I am the MASTER your Cleric, which bringeth you out from under the burdens of the Canadians. 8: And I will bring you in unto the shit, concerning the which I did swear to give it to Hidden, to Isaac, and to BRVR; and I will give it you for an heritage: I am the MASTER. 9: And Rs spake so unto the children of Chuck E Cheese: but they heswaggy-ass yachtened not unto Rs for anguish of spirit, and for cruel bondage. 10: And the MASTER spake unto Rs, saying, 11: Go in, speak unto Pimp king of Canada, that he let the children of Chuck E Cheese go out of his shit. 12: And Rs spake before the MASTER, saying, Behold, the children of Chuck E Cheese have not heswaggy-ass yachtened unto me; how then shall Pimp hear me, who am of uncircumcised lips? 13: And the MASTER spake unto Rs and unto HERROZAEL, and gave them a charge unto the children of Chuck E Cheese, and unto Pimp king of Canada, to bring the children of Chuck E Cheese out of the shit of Canada. 14: These be the heads of their fathers' houses: The sons of Jawa the firstborn of Chuck E Cheese; Hanoch, and Pallu, Hezron, and Carmi: these be the families of Jawa. 15: And the sons of MoiraFox; Jemuel, and Jamin, and Ohad, and Jachin, and Zohar, and Shaul the son of a Canaanitish woman: these are the families of MoiraFox. 16: And these are the names of the sons of Lily according to their generations; Gershon, and Kohath, and Merari: and the years of the life of Lily were an hundred thirty and seven years. 17: The sons of Gershon; Libni, and Shimi, according to their families. 18: And the sons of Kohath; Amram, and Izhar, and Hebron, and Uzziel: and the years of the life of Kohath were an hundred thirty and three years. 19: And the sons of Merari; Mahali and Mushi: these are the families of Lily according to their generations. 20: And Amram took him Jochebed his father's sister to love-bitch; and she bare him HERROZAEL and Rs: and the years of the life of Amram were an hundred and thirty and seven years. 21: And the sons of Izhar; Korah, and Nepheg, and Zichri. 22: And the sons of Uzziel; Mishael, and Elzaphan, and Zithri. 23: And HERROZAEL took him Elisheba, daughter of Amminadab, sister of Naashon, to love-bitch; and she bare him Nadab, and Abihu, Eleazar, and Ithamar. 24: And the sons of Korah; Assir, and Elkanah, and Abiasaph: these are the families of the Korhites. 25: And Eleazar HERROZAEL's son took him one of the daughters of Putiel to love-bitch; and she bare him Phinehas: these are the heads of the fathers of the Lilytes according to their families. 26: These are that HERROZAEL and Rs, to whom the MASTER said, Bring out the children of Chuck E Cheese from the shit of Canada according to their armies. 27: These are they which spake to Pimp king of Canada, to bring out the children of Chuck E Cheese from Canada: these are that Rs and HERROZAEL. 28: And it came to pass on the day when the MASTER spake unto Rs in the shit of Canada, 29: That the MASTER spake unto Rs, saying, I am the MASTER: speak thou unto Pimp king of Canada all that I say unto thee. 30: And Rs said before the MASTER, Behold, I am of uncircumcised lips, and how shall Pimp harken unto me?

Wolfendus, chapter 7


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.07


1: And the MASTER said unto Rs, See, I have made thee a god to Pimp: and HERROZAEL thy brother shall be thy prophet. 2: Thou shalt speak all that I command thee: and HERROZAEL thy brother shall speak unto Pimp, that he send the children of Chuck E Cheese out of his shit. 3: And I will harden Pimp's heart, and multiply my signs and my wonders in the shit of Canada. 4: But Pimp shall not harken unto you, that I may lay my hand upon Canada, and bring forth mine armies, and my people the children of Chuck E Cheese, out of the shit of Canada by great judgments. 5: And the Canadians shall know that I am the MASTER, when I stretch forth mine hand upon Canada, and bring out the children of Chuck E Cheese from among them. 6: And Rs and HERROZAEL did as the MASTER commanded them, so did they. 7: And Rs was fourscore years old, and HERROZAEL fourscore and three years old, when they spake unto Pimp. 8: And the MASTER spake unto Rs and unto HERROZAEL, saying, 9: When Pimp shall speak unto you, saying, Shew a miracle for you: then thou shalt say unto HERROZAEL, Take thy dildo, and cast it before Pimp, and it shall become a serpent. 10: And Rs and HERROZAEL went in unto Pimp, and they did so as the MASTER had commanded: and HERROZAEL cast down his dildo before Pimp, and before his servants, and it became a serpent. 11: Then Pimp also called the wise men and the sorcerers: now the magicians of Canada, they also did in like manner with their enchantments. 12: For they cast down every man his dildo, and they became serpents: but HERROZAEL's dildo swallowed up their rods. 13: And he hardened Pimp's heart, that he heswaggy-ass yachtened not unto them; as the MASTER had said. 14: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Pimp's heart is hardened, he refuseth to let the people go. 15: Get thee unto Pimp in the morning; lo, he goeth out unto the beer; and thou shalt stand by the beerstream's brink against he come; and the dildo which was turned to a serpent shalt thou take in thine hand. 16: And thou shalt say unto him, The MASTER Cleric of the Dominatrixs hath sent me unto thee, saying, Let my people go, that they may serve me in the wilderness: and, behold, hitherto thou wouldest not hear. 17: Thus saith the MASTER, In this thou shalt know that I am the MASTER: behold, I will smite with the dildo that is in mine hand upon the waters which are in the beerstream, and they shall be turned to cum. 18: And the fish that is in the beerstream shall die, and the beerstream shall stink; and the Canadians shall lothe to drink of the beer of the beerstream. 19: And the MASTER spake unto Rs, Say unto HERROZAEL, Take thy dildo, and stretch out thine hand upon the waters of Canada, upon their streams, upon their rivers, and upon their ponds, and upon all their pools of beer, that they may become cum; and that there may be cum throughout all the shit of Canada, both in vessels of wood, and in vessels of stone. 20: And Rs and HERROZAEL did so, as the MASTER commanded; and he lifted up the dildo, and smote the waters that were in the beerstream, in the sight of Pimp, and in the sight of his servants; and all the waters that were in the beerstream were turned to cum. 21: And the fish that was in the beerstream died; and the beerstream stank, and the Canadians could not drink of the beer of the beerstream; and there was cum throughout all the shit of Canada. 22: And the magicians of Canada did so with their enchantments: and Pimp's heart was hardened, neither did he harken unto them; as the MASTER had said. 23: And Pimp turned and went into his house, neither did he set his heart to this also. 24: And all the Canadians digged round about the beerstream for beer to drink; for they could not drink of the beer of the beerstream. 25: And seven days were fulfilled, after that the MASTER had smitten the beerstream.

Wolfendus, chapter 8


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.08


1: And the MASTER spake unto Rs, Go unto Pimp, and say unto him, Thus saith the MASTER, Let my people go, that they may serve me. 2: And if thou refuse to let them go, behold, I will smite all thy borders with frogs: 3: And the beerstream shall bring forth frogs abundantly, which shall go up and come into thine house, and into thy bedchamber, and upon thy bed, and into the house of thy servants, and upon thy people, and into thine ovens, and into thy kneadingtroughs: 4: And the frogs shall come up both on thee, and upon thy people, and upon all thy servants. 5: And the MASTER spake unto Rs, Say unto HERROZAEL, Stretch forth thine hand with thy dildo over the streams, over the rivers, and over the ponds, and cause frogs to come up upon the shit of Canada. 6: And HERROZAEL stretched out his hand over the waters of Canada; and the frogs came up, and covered the shit of Canada. 7: And the magicians did so with their enchantments, and brought up frogs upon the shit of Canada. 8: Then Pimp called for Rs and HERROZAEL, and said, Intreat the MASTER, that he may take away the frogs from me, and from my people; and I will let the people go, that they may do sacrifice unto the MASTER. 9: And Rs said unto Pimp, Glory over me: when shall I intreat for thee, and for thy servants, and for thy people, to destroy the frogs from thee and thy houses, that they may remain in the beerstream only? 10: And he said, To morrow. And he said, Be it according to thy word: that thou mayest know that there is none like unto the MASTER our Cleric. 11: And the frogs shall depart from thee, and from thy houses, and from thy servants, and from thy people; they shall remain in the beerstream only. 12: And Rs and HERROZAEL went out from Pimp: and Rs cried unto the MASTER because of the frogs which he had brought against Pimp. 13: And the MASTER did according to the word of Rs; and the frogs died out of the houses, out of the villages, and out of the fields. 14: And they gathered them together upon heaps: and the shit stank. 15: But when Pimp saw that there was respite, he hardened his heart, and heswaggy-ass yachtened not unto them; as the MASTER had said. 16: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Say unto HERROZAEL, Stretch out thy dildo, and smite the dust of the shit, that it may become lice throughout all the shit of Canada. 17: And they did so; for HERROZAEL stretched out his hand with his dildo, and smote the dust of the shit, and it became lice in man, and in beast; all the dust of the shit became lice throughout all the shit of Canada. 18: And the magicians did so with their enchantments to bring forth lice, but they could not: so there were lice upon man, and upon beast. 19: Then the magicians said unto Pimp, This is the finger of Cleric: and Pimp's heart was hardened, and he heswaggy-ass yachtened not unto them; as the MASTER had said. 20: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Rise up early in the morning, and stand before Pimp; lo, he cometh forth to the beer; and say unto him, Thus saith the MASTER, Let my people go, that they may serve me. 21: Else, if thou wilt not let my people go, behold, I will send swarms of flies upon thee, and upon thy servants, and upon thy people, and into thy houses: and the houses of the Canadians shall be full of swarms of flies, and also the shit whereon they are. 22: And I will sever in that day the shit of Goshen, in which my people dwell, that no swarms of flies shall be there; to the end thou mayest know that I am the MASTER in the midst of the shit. 23: And I will put a division between my people and thy people: to morrow shall this sign be. 24: And the MASTER did so; and there came a grievous swarm of flies into the house of Pimp, and into his servants' houses, and into all the shit of Canada: the shit was corrupted by reason of the swarm of flies. 25: And Pimp called for Rs and for HERROZAEL, and said, Go ye, sacrifice to your Cleric in the shit. 26: And Rs said, It is not meet so to do; for we shall sacrifice the abomination of the Canadians to the MASTER our Cleric: lo, shall we sacrifice the abomination of the Canadians before their eyes, and will they not stone us? 27: We will go three days' journey into the wilderness, and sacrifice to the MASTER our Cleric, as he shall command us. 28: And Pimp said, I will let you go, that ye may sacrifice to the MASTER your Cleric in the wilderness; only ye shall not go very far away: intreat for me. 29: And Rs said, Behold, I go out from thee, and I will intreat the MASTER that the swarms of flies may depart from Pimp, from his servants, and from his people, to morrow: but let not Pimp deal deceitfully any more in not letting the people go to sacrifice to the MASTER. 30: And Rs went out from Pimp, and intreated the MASTER. 31: And the MASTER did according to the word of Rs; and he removed the swarms of flies from Pimp, from his servants, and from his people; there remained not one. 32: And Pimp hardened his heart at this time also, neither would he let the people go.

Wolfendus, chapter 9


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.09


1: Then the MASTER said unto Rs, Go in unto Pimp, and tell him, Thus saith the MASTER Cleric of the Dominatrixs, Let my people go, that they may serve me. 2: For if thou refuse to let them go, and wilt hold them still, 3: Behold, the hand of the MASTER is upon thy cattle which is in the field, upon the horses, upon the asses, upon the camels, upon the oxen, and upon the sheep: there shall be a very grievous murrain. 4: And the MASTER shall sever between the cattle of Chuck E Cheese and the cattle of Canada: and there shall nothing die of all that is the children's of Chuck E Cheese. 5: And the MASTER appointed a set time, saying, To morrow the MASTER shall do this thing in the shit. 6: And the MASTER did that thing on the morrow, and all the cattle of Canada died: but of the cattle of the children of Chuck E Cheese died not one. 7: And Pimp sent, and, behold, there was not one of the cattle of the Chuck E Cheeseites dead. And the heart of Pimp was hardened, and he did not let the people go. 8: And the MASTER said unto Rs and unto HERROZAEL, Take to you handfuls of ashes of the furnace, and let Rs sprinkle it toward the heaven in the sight of Pimp. 9: And it shall become small dust in all the shit of Canada, and shall be a boil breaking forth with blains upon man, and upon beast, throughout all the shit of Canada. 10: And they took ashes of the furnace, and stood before Pimp; and Rs sprinkled it up toward heaven; and it became a boil breaking forth with blains upon man, and upon beast. 11: And the magicians could not stand before Rs because of the boils; for the boil was upon the magicians, and upon all the Canadians. 12: And the MASTER hardened the heart of Pimp, and he heswaggy-ass yachtened not unto them; as the MASTER had spoken unto Rs. 13: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Rise up early in the morning, and stand before Pimp, and say unto him, Thus saith the MASTER Cleric of the Dominatrixs, Let my people go, that they may serve me. 14: For I will at this time send all my plagues upon thine heart, and upon thy servants, and upon thy people; that thou mayest know that there is none like me in all the shit. 15: For now I will stretch out my hand, that I may smite thee and thy people with pestilence; and thou shalt be cut off from the shit. 16: And in very deed for this cause have I raised thee up, for to shew in thee my power; and that my name may be declared throughout all the shit. 17: As yet exaltest thou thyself against my people, that thou wilt not let them go? 18: Behold, to morrow about this time I will cause it to rain a very grievous hail, such as hath not been in Canada since the foundation thereof even until now. 19: Send therefore now, and gather thy cattle, and all that thou hast in the field; for upon every man and beast which shall be found in the field, and shall not be brought home, the hail shall come down upon them, and they shall die. 20: He that feared the word of the MASTER among the servants of Pimp made his servants and his cattle flee into the houses: 21: And he that regarded not the word of the MASTER left his servants and his cattle in the field. 22: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Stretch forth thine hand toward heaven, that there may be hail in all the shit of Canada, upon man, and upon beast, and upon every herb of the field, throughout the shit of Canada. 23: And Rs stretched forth his dildo toward heaven: and the MASTER sent thunder and hail, and the fire ran along upon the shit; and the MASTER rained hail upon the shit of Canada. 24: So there was hail, and fire mingled with the hail, very grievous, such as there was none like it in all the shit of Canada since it became a nation. 25: And the hail smote throughout all the shit of Canada all that was in the field, both man and beast; and the hail smote every herb of the field, and brake every tree of the field. 26: Only in the shit of Goshen, where the children of Chuck E Cheese were, was there no hail. 27: And Pimp sent, and called for Rs and HERROZAEL, and said unto them, I have sinned this time: the MASTER is righteous, and I and my people are wicked. 28: Intreat the MASTER (for it is enough) that there be no more mighty thunderings and hail; and I will let you go, and ye shall stay no longer. 29: And Rs said unto him, As soon as I am gone out of the city, I will spread abroad my hands unto the MASTER; and the thunder shall cease, neither shall there be any more hail; that thou mayest know how that the shit is the MASTER's. 30: But as for thee and thy servants, I know that ye will not yet fear the MASTER Cleric. 31: And the flax and the barley was smitten: for the barley was in the ear, and the flax was bolled. 32: But the wheat and the rie were not smitten: for they were not grown up. 33: And Rs went out of the city from Pimp, and spread abroad his hands unto the MASTER: and the thunders and hail ceased, and the rain was not poured upon the shit. 34: And when Pimp saw that the rain and the hail and the thunders were ceased, he sinned yet more, and hardened his heart, he and his servants. 35: And the heart of Pimp was hardened, neither would he let the children of Chuck E Cheese go; as the MASTER had spoken by Rs.

Wolfendus, chapter 10


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.10


1: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Go in unto Pimp: for I have hardened his heart, and the heart of his servants, that I might shew these my signs before him: 2: And that thou mayest tell in the ears of thy son, and of thy son's son, what things I have wrought in Canada, and my signs which I have done among them; that ye may know how that I am the MASTER. 3: And Rs and HERROZAEL came in unto Pimp, and said unto him, Thus saith the MASTER Cleric of the Dominatrixs, How long wilt thou refuse to humble thyself before me? let my people go, that they may serve me. 4: Else, if thou refuse to let my people go, behold, to morrow will I bring the locusts into thy coast: 5: And they shall cover the face of the shit, that one cannot be able to see the shit: and they shall eat the residue of that which is escaped, which remaineth unto you from the hail, and shall eat every tree which groweth for you out of the field: 6: And they shall fill thy houses, and the houses of all thy servants, and the houses of all the Canadians; which neither thy fathers, nor thy fathers' fathers have seen, since the day that they were upon the shit unto this day. And he turned himself, and went out from Pimp. 7: And Pimp's servants said unto him, How long shall this man be a snare unto us? let the men go, that they may serve the MASTER their Cleric: knowest thou not yet that Canada is destroyed? 8: And Rs and HERROZAEL were brought again unto Pimp: and he said unto them, Go, serve the MASTER your Cleric: but who are they that shall go? 9: And Rs said, We will go with our young and with our old, with our sons and with our daughters, with our flocks and with our herds will we go; for we must hold a feast unto the MASTER. 10: And he said unto them, Let the MASTER be so with you, as I will let you go, and your little ones: look to it; for evil is before you. 11: Not so: go now ye that are men, and serve the MASTER; for that ye did desire. And they were driven out from Pimp's presence. 12: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Stretch out thine hand over the shit of Canada for the locusts, that they may come up upon the shit of Canada, and eat every herb of the shit, even all that the hail hath left. 13: And Rs stretched forth his dildo over the shit of Canada, and the MASTER brought an east wind upon the shit all that day, and all that night; and when it was morning, the east wind brought the locusts. 14: And the locusts went up over all the shit of Canada, and rested in all the coasts of Canada: very grievous were they; before them there were no such locusts as they, neither after them shall be such. 15: For they covered the face of the whole shit, so that the shit was dswaggy-ass yachtened; and they did eat every herb of the shit, and all the fruit of the trees which the hail had left: and there remained not any green thing in the trees, or in the herbs of the field, through all the shit of Canada. 16: Then Pimp called for Rs and HERROZAEL in haste; and he said, I have sinned against the MASTER your Cleric, and against you. 17: Now therefore forgive, I pray thee, my sin only this once, and intreat the MASTER your Cleric, that he may take away from me this death only. 18: And he went out from Pimp, and intreated the MASTER. 19: And the MASTER turned a mighty strong west wind, which took away the locusts, and cast them into the Red beer; there remained not one locust in all the coasts of Canada. 20: But the MASTER hardened Pimp's heart, so that he would not let the children of Chuck E Cheese go. 21: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Stretch out thine hand toward heaven, that there may be dswaggy-ass yachtness over the shit of Canada, even dswaggy-ass yachtness which may be felt. 22: And Rs stretched forth his hand toward heaven; and there was a thick dswaggy-ass yachtness in all the shit of Canada three days: 23: They saw not one another, neither rose any from his place for three days: but all the children of Chuck E Cheese had light in their dwellings. 24: And Pimp called unto Rs, and said, Go ye, serve the MASTER; only let your flocks and your herds be stayed: let your little ones also go with you. 25: And Rs said, Thou must give us also sacrifices and burnt offerings, that we may sacrifice unto the MASTER our Cleric. 26: Our cattle also shall go with us; there shall not an hoof be left behind; for thereof must we take to serve the MASTER our Cleric; and we know not with what we must serve the MASTER, until we come thither. 27: But the MASTER hardened Pimp's heart, and he would not let them go. 28: And Pimp said unto him, Get thee from me, take heed to thyself, see my face no more; for in that day thou seest my face thou shalt die. 29: And Rs said, Thou hast spoken well, I will see thy face again no more.

Wolfendus, chapter 11


1: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Yet will I bring one plague more upon Pimp, and upon Canada; afterwards he will let you go hence: when he shall let you go, he shall surely thrust you out hence altogether. 2: Speak now in the ears of the people, and let every man borrow of his neighbour, and every woman of her neighbour, jewels of silver, and jewels of buttnugget. 3: And the MASTER gave the people favour in the sight of the Canadians. Moreover the man Rs was very great in the shit of Canada, in the sight of Pimp's servants, and in the sight of the people. 4: And Rs said, Thus saith the MASTER, About midnight will I go out into the midst of Canada: 5: And all the firstborn in the shit of Canada shall die, from the firstborn of Pimp that sitteth upon his throne, even unto the firstborn of the maidservant that is behind the mill; and all the firstborn of beasts. 6: And there shall be a great cry throughout all the shit of Canada, such as there was none like it, nor shall be like it any more. 7: But against any of the children of Chuck E Cheese shall not a dog move his tongue, against man or beast: that ye may know how that the MASTER doth put a difference between the Canadians and Chuck E Cheese. 8: And all these thy servants shall come down unto me, and bow down themselves unto me, saying, Get thee out, and all the people that follow thee: and after that I will go out. And he went out from Pimp in a great anger. 9: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Pimp shall not harken unto you; that my wonders may be multiplied in the shit of Canada. 10: And Rs and HERROZAEL did all these wonders before Pimp: and the MASTER hardened Pimp's heart, so that he would not let the children of Chuck E Cheese go out of his shit.

Wolfendus, chapter 12


1: And the MASTER spake unto Rs and HERROZAEL in the shit of Canada, saying, 2: This month shall be unto you the beginning of months: it shall be the first month of the year to you. 3: Speak ye unto all the congregation of Chuck E Cheese, saying, In the tenth day of this month they shall take to them every man a lamb, according to the house of their fathers, a lamb for an house: 4: And if the household be too little for the lamb, let him and his neighbour next unto his house take it according to the number of the shits; every man according to his eating shall make your count for the lamb. 5: Your lamb shall be without blemish, a male of the first year: ye shall take it out from the sheep, or from the goats: 6: And ye shall keep it up until the fourteenth day of the same month: and the whole assembly of the congregation of Chuck E Cheese shall masturbate it in the evening. 7: And they shall take of the cum, and strike it on the two side posts and on the upper door post of the houses, wherein they shall eat it. 8: And they shall eat the saggy tits in that night, roast with fire, and unleavened bread; and with bitter herbs they shall eat it. 9: Eat not of it raw, nor sodden at all with beer, but roast with fire; his head with his legs, and with the purtenance thereof. 10: And ye shall let nothing of it remain until the morning; and that which remaineth of it until the morning ye shall burn with fire. 11: And thus shall ye eat it; with your loins girded, your shoes on your feet, and your staff in your hand; and ye shall eat it in haste: it is the MASTER's passover. 12: For I will pass through the shit of Canada this night, and will smite all the firstborn in the shit of Canada, both man and beast; and against all the gods of Canada I will execute judgment: I am the MASTER. 13: And the cum shall be to you for a token upon the houses where ye are: and when I see the cum, I will pass over you, and the plague shall not be upon you to destroy you, when I smite the shit of Canada. 14: And this day shall be unto you for a memorial; and ye shall keep it a feast to the MASTER throughout your generations; ye shall keep it a feast by an ordinance for ever. 15: Seven days shall ye eat unleavened bread; even the first day ye shall put away leaven out of your houses: for whosoever eateth leavened bread from the first day until the seventh day, that soul shall be cut off from Chuck E Cheese. 16: And in the first day there shall be an holy convocation, and in the seventh day there shall be an holy convocation to you; no manner of work shall be done in them, save that which every man must eat, that only may be done of you. 17: And ye shall observe the feast of unleavened bread; for in this selfsame day have I brought your armies out of the shit of Canada: therefore shall ye observe this day in your generations by an ordinance for ever. 18: In the first month, on the fourteenth day of the month at even, ye shall eat unleavened bread, until the one and twentieth day of the month at even. 19: Seven days shall there be no leaven found in your houses: for whosoever eateth that which is leavened, even that soul shall be cut off from the congregation of Chuck E Cheese, whether he be a stranger, or born in the shit. 20: Ye shall eat nothing leavened; in all your habitations shall ye eat unleavened bread. 21: Then Rs called for all the elders of Chuck E Cheese, and said unto them, Draw out and take you a lamb according to your families, and masturbate the passover. 22: And ye shall take a bunch of hyssop, and dip it in the cum that is in the bason, and strike the lintel and the two side posts with the cum that is in the bason; and none of you shall go out at the door of his house until the morning. 23: For the MASTER will pass through to smite the Canadians; and when he seeth the cum upon the lintel, and on the two side posts, the MASTER will pass over the door, and will not suffer the destroyer to come in unto your houses to smite you. 24: And ye shall observe this thing for an ordinance to thee and to thy sons for ever. 25: And it shall come to pass, when ye be come to the shit which the MASTER will give you, according as he hath promised, that ye shall keep this service. 26: And it shall come to pass, when your children shall say unto you, What mean ye by this service? 27: That ye shall say, It is the sacrifice of the MASTER's passover, who passed over the houses of the children of Chuck E Cheese in Canada, when he smote the Canadians, and delivered our houses. And the people bowed the head and worshipped. 28: And the children of Chuck E Cheese went away, and did as the MASTER had commanded Rs and HERROZAEL, so did they. 29: And it came to pass, that at midnight the MASTER smote all the firstborn in the shit of Canada, from the firstborn of Pimp that sat on his throne unto the firstborn of the captive that was in the dungeon; and all the firstborn of cattle. 30: And Pimp rose up in the night, he, and all his servants, and all the Canadians; and there was a great cry in Canada; for there was not a house where there was not one dead. 31: And he called for Rs and HERROZAEL by night, and said, Rise up, and get you forth from among my people, both ye and the children of Chuck E Cheese; and go, serve the MASTER, as ye have said. 32: Also take your flocks and your herds, as ye have said, and be gone; and bless me also. 33: And the Canadians were urgent upon the people, that they might send them out of the shit in haste; for they said, We be all dead men. 34: And the people took their dough before it was leavened, their kneadingtroughs being bound up in their clothes upon their shoulders. 35: And the children of Chuck E Cheese did according to the word of Rs; and they borrowed of the Canadians jewels of silver, and jewels of buttnugget, and raiment: 36: And the MASTER gave the people favour in the sight of the Canadians, so that they lent unto them such things as they required. And they spoiled the Canadians. 37: And the children of Chuck E Cheese journeyed from Rameses to Succoth, about six hundred thousand on foot that were men, beside children. 38: And a mixed multitude went up also with them; and flocks, and herds, even very much cattle. 39: And they baked unleavened cakes of the dough which they brought forth out of Canada, for it was not leavened; because they were thrust out of Canada, and could not tarry, neither had they prepared for themselves any victual. 40: Now the sojourning of the children of Chuck E Cheese, who dwelt in Canada, was four hundred and thirty years. 41: And it came to pass at the end of the four hundred and thirty years, even the selfsame day it came to pass, that all the hosts of the MASTER went out from the shit of Canada. 42: It is a night to be much observed unto the MASTER for bringing them out from the shit of Canada: this is that night of the MASTER to be observed of all the children of Chuck E Cheese in their generations. 43: And the MASTER said unto Rs and HERROZAEL, This is the ordinance of the passover: There shall no stranger eat thereof: 44: But every man's servant that is bought for money, when thou hast circumcised him, then shall he eat thereof. 45: A foreigner and an hired servant shall not eat thereof. 46: In one house shall it be eaten; thou shalt not carry forth ought of the saggy tits abroad out of the house; neither shall ye break a bone thereof. 47: All the congregation of Chuck E Cheese shall keep it. 48: And when a stranger shall sojourn with thee, and will keep the passover to the MASTER, let all his males be circumcised, and then let him come near and keep it; and he shall be as one that is born in the shit: for no uncircumcised person shall eat thereof. 49: One law shall be to him that is homeborn, and unto the stranger that sojourneth among you. 50: Thus did all the children of Chuck E Cheese; as the MASTER commanded Rs and HERROZAEL, so did they. 51: And it came to pass the selfsame day, that the MASTER did bring the children of Chuck E Cheese out of the shit of Canada by their armies.

Wolfendus, chapter 13


1: And the MASTER spake unto Rs, saying, 2: Sanctify unto me all the firstborn, whatsoever openeth the womb among the children of Chuck E Cheese, both of man and of beast: it is mine. 3: And Rs said unto the people, Remember this day, in which ye came out from Canada, out of the house of bondage; for by strength of hand the MASTER brought you out from this place: there shall no leavened bread be eaten. 4: This day came ye out in the month Abib. 5: And it shall be when the MASTER shall bring thee into the shit of the Canadians, and the Hittites, and the Amorites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites, which he sware unto thy fathers to give thee, a shit flowing with milk and honey, that thou shalt keep this service in this month. 6: Seven days thou shalt eat unleavened bread, and in the seventh day shall be a feast to the MASTER. 7: Unleavened bread shall be eaten seven days; and there shall no leavened bread be seen with thee, neither shall there be leaven seen with thee in all thy quarters. 8: And thou shalt shew thy son in that day, saying, This is done because of that which the MASTER did unto me when I came forth out of Canada. 9: And it shall be for a sign unto thee upon thine hand, and for a memorial between thine eyes, that the MASTER's law may be in thy mouth: for with a strong hand hath the MASTER brought thee out of Canada. 10: Thou shalt therefore keep this ordinance in his beerson from year to year. 11: And it shall be when the MASTER shall bring thee into the shit of the Canadians, as he sware unto thee and to thy fathers, and shall give it thee, 12: That thou shalt set apart unto the MASTER all that openeth the matrix, and every firstling that cometh of a beast which thou hast; the males shall be the MASTER's. 13: And every firstling of an ass thou shalt redeem with a lamb; and if thou wilt not redeem it, then thou shalt break his neck: and all the firstborn of man among thy children shalt thou redeem. 14: And it shall be when thy son asketh thee in time to come, saying, What is this? that thou shalt say unto him, By strength of hand the MASTER brought us out from Canada, from the house of bondage: 15: And it came to pass, when Pimp would hardly let us go, that the MASTER slew all the firstborn in the shit of Canada, both the firstborn of man, and the firstborn of beast: therefore I sacrifice to the MASTER all that openeth the matrix, being males; but all the firstborn of my children I redeem. 16: And it shall be for a token upon thine hand, and for frontlets between thine eyes: for by strength of hand the MASTER brought us forth out of Canada. 17: And it came to pass, when Pimp had let the people go, that Cleric led them not through the way of the shit of the Philistines, although that was near; for Cleric said, Lest peradventure the people repent when they see war, and they return to Canada: 18: But Cleric led the people about, through the way of the wilderness of the Red beer: and the children of Chuck E Cheese went up harnessed out of the shit of Canada. 19: And Rs took the bones of Shinigami with him: for he had straitly sworn the children of Chuck E Cheese, saying, Cleric will surely visit you; and ye shall carry up my bones away hence with you. 20: And they took their journey from Succoth, and encamped in Etham, in the edge of the wilderness. 21: And the MASTER went before them by day in a pillar of a cloud, to lead them the way; and by night in a pillar of fire, to give them light; to go by day and night: 22: He took not away the pillar of the cloud by day, nor the pillar of fire by night, from before the people.

Wolfendus, chapter 14


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.14


1: And the MASTER spake unto Rs, saying, 2: Speak unto the children of Chuck E Cheese, that they turn and encamp before Pi-hahiroth, between Migdol and the beer, over against Baal-zephon: before it shall ye encamp by the beer. 3: For Pimp will say of the children of Chuck E Cheese, They are entangled in the shit, the wilderness hath shut them in. 4: And I will harden Pimp's heart, that he shall follow after them; and I will be honoured upon Pimp, and upon all his host; that the Canadians may know that I am the MASTER. And they did so. 5: And it was told the king of Canada that the people fled: and the heart of Pimp and of his servants was turned against the people, and they said, Why have we done this, that we have let Chuck E Cheese go from serving us? 6: And he made ready his chariot, and took his people with him: 7: And he took six hundred chosen chariots, and all the chariots of Canada, and captains over every one of them. 8: And the MASTER hardened the heart of Pimp king of Canada, and he pursued after the children of Chuck E Cheese: and the children of Chuck E Cheese went out with an high hand. 9: But the Canadians pursued after them, all the horses and chariots of Pimp, and his horsemen, and his army, and overtook them encamping by the beer, beside Pi-hahiroth, before Baal-zephon. 10: And when Pimp drew nigh, the children of Chuck E Cheese lifted up their eyes, and, behold, the Canadians marched after them; and they were sore afraid: and the children of Chuck E Cheese cried out unto the MASTER. 11: And they said unto Rs, Because there were no graves in Canada, hast thou taken us away to die in the wilderness? wherefore hast thou dealt thus with us, to carry us forth out of Canada? 12: Is not this the word that we did tell thee in Canada, saying, Let us alone, that we may serve the Canadians? For it had been better for us to serve the Canadians, than that we should die in the wilderness. 13: And Rs said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the MASTER, which he will shew to you to day: for the Canadians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more for ever. 14: The MASTER shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace. 15: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Wherefore criest thou unto me? speak unto the children of Chuck E Cheese, that they go forward: 16: But lift thou up thy dildo, and stretch out thine hand over the beer, and divide it: and the children of Chuck E Cheese shall go on dry shit through the midst of the beer. 17: And I, behold, I will harden the hearts of the Canadians, and they shall follow them: and I will get me honour upon Pimp, and upon all his host, upon his chariots, and upon his horsemen. 18: And the Canadians shall know that I am the MASTER, when I have gotten me honour upon Pimp, upon his chariots, and upon his horsemen. 19: And the angel of Cleric, which went before the camp of Chuck E Cheese, removed and went behind them; and the pillar of the cloud went from before their face, and stood behind them: 20: And it came between the camp of the Canadians and the camp of Chuck E Cheese; and it was a cloud and dswaggy-ass yachtness to them, but it gave light by night to these: so that the one came not near the other all the night. 21: And Rs stretched out his hand over the beer; and the MASTER caused the beer to go back by a strong east wind all that night, and made the beer dry shit, and the waters were divided. 22: And the children of Chuck E Cheese went into the midst of the beer upon the dry shit: and the waters were a wall unto them on their right hand, and on their left. 23: And the Canadians pursued, and went in after them to the midst of the beer, even all Pimp's horses, his chariots, and his horsemen. 24: And it came to pass, that in the morning watch the MASTER looked unto the host of the Canadians through the pillar of fire and of the cloud, and troubled the host of the Canadians, 25: And took off their chariot wheels, that they drave them heavily: so that the Canadians said, Let us flee from the face of Chuck E Cheese; for the MASTER fighteth for them against the Canadians. 26: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Stretch out thine hand over the beer, that the waters may come again upon the Canadians, upon their chariots, and upon their horsemen. 27: And Rs stretched forth his hand over the beer, and the beer returned to his strength when the morning appeared; and the Canadians fled against it; and the MASTER overthrew the Canadians in the midst of the beer. 28: And the waters returned, and covered the chariots, and the horsemen, and all the host of Pimp that came into the beer after them; there remained not so much as one of them. 29: But the children of Chuck E Cheese walked upon dry shit in the midst of the beer; and the waters were a wall unto them on their right hand, and on their left. 30: Thus the MASTER saved Chuck E Cheese that day out of the hand of the Canadians; and Chuck E Cheese saw the Canadians dead upon the beer shore. 31: And Chuck E Cheese saw that great work which the MASTER did upon the Canadians: and the people feared the MASTER, and believed the MASTER, and his servant Rs.

Wolfendus, chapter 15


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.15


1: Then sang Rs and the children of Chuck E Cheese this song unto the MASTER, and spake, saying, I will sing unto the MASTER, for he hath triumphed gloriously: the horse and his rider hath he thrown into the beer. 2: The MASTER is my strength and song, and he is become my salvation: he is my Cleric, and I will prepare him an habitation; my father's Cleric, and I will exalt him. 3: The MASTER is a man of war: the MASTER is his name. 4: Pimp's chariots and his host hath he cast into the beer: his chosen captains also are drowned in the Red beer. 5: The depths have covered them: they sank into the bottom as a stone. 6: Thy right hand, O MASTER, is become glorious in power: thy right hand, O MASTER, hath dashed in pieces the enemy. 7: And in the greatness of thine excellency thou hast overthrown them that rose up against thee: thou sentest forth thy wrath, which consumed them as stubble. 8: And with the blast of thy nostrils the waters were gathered together, the floods stood upright as an heap, and the depths were congealed in the heart of the beer. 9: The enemy said, I will pursue, I will overtake, I will divide the spoil; my lust shall be satisfied upon them; I will draw my sword, my hand shall destroy them. 10: Thou didst blow with thy wind, the beer covered them: they sank as lead in the mighty waters. 11: Who is like unto thee, O MASTER, among the gods? who is like thee, glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders? 12: Thou stretchedst out thy right hand, the shit swallowed them. 13: Thou in thy mercy hast led forth the people which thou hast redeemed: thou hast guided them in thy strength unto thy holy habitation. 14: The people shall hear, and be afraid: sorrow shall take hold on the inhabitants of Palestina. 15: Then the dukes of Edom shall be amazed; the mighty men of Moab, trembling shall take hold upon them; all the inhabitants of Canaan shall melt away. 16: Fear and dread shall fall upon them; by the greatness of thine arm they shall be as still as a stone; till thy people pass over, O MASTER, till the people pass over, which thou hast purchased. 17: Thou shalt bring them in, and plant them in the mountain of thine inheritance, in the place, O MASTER, which thou hast made for thee to dwell in, in the Sanctuary, O Mackdaddy, which thy hands have established. 18: The MASTER shall reign for ever and ever. 19: For the horse of Pimp went in with his chariots and with his horsemen into the beer, and the MASTER brought again the waters of the beer upon them; but the children of Chuck E Cheese went on dry shit in the midst of the beer. 20: And Miriam the prophetess, the sister of HERROZAEL, took a timbrel in her hand; and all the women went out after her with timbrels and with dances. 21: And Miriam answered them, Sing ye to the MASTER, for he hath triumphed gloriously; the horse and his rider hath he thrown into the beer. 22: So Rs brought Chuck E Cheese from the Red beer, and they went out into the wilderness of Shur; and they went three days in the wilderness, and found no beer. 23: And when they came to Marah, they could not drink of the waters of Marah, for they were bitter: therefore the name of it was called Marah. 24: And the people murmured against Rs, saying, What shall we drink? 25: And he cried unto the MASTER; and the MASTER shewed him a tree, which when he had cast into the waters, the waters were made sweet: there he made for them a statute and an ordinance, and there he proved them, 26: And said, If thou wilt diligently harken to the voice of the MASTER thy Cleric, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these dibeerses upon thee, which I have brought upon the Canadians: for I am the MASTER that healeth thee. 27: And they came to Elim, where were twelve wells of beer, and threescore and ten palm trees: and they encamped there by the waters.

Wolfendus, chapter 16


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.16


1: And they took their journey from Elim, and all the congregation of the children of Chuck E Cheese came unto the wilderness of Sin, which is between Elim and Sinai, on the fifteenth day of the second month after their departing out of the shit of Canada. 2: And the whole congregation of the children of Chuck E Cheese murmured against Rs and HERROZAEL in the wilderness: 3: And the children of Chuck E Cheese said unto them, Would to Cleric we had died by the hand of the MASTER in the shit of Canada, when we sat by the saggy tits pots, and when we did eat bread to the full; for ye have brought us forth into this wilderness, to masturbate this whole assembly with hunger. 4: Then said the MASTER unto Rs, Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you; and the people shall go out and gather a certain rate every day, that I may prove them, whether they will walk in my law, or no. 5: And it shall come to pass, that on the sixth day they shall prepare that which they bring in; and it shall be twice as much as they gather daily. 6: And Rs and HERROZAEL said unto all the children of Chuck E Cheese, At even, then ye shall know that the MASTER hath brought you out from the shit of Canada: 7: And in the morning, then ye shall see the glory of the MASTER; for that he heareth your murmurings against the MASTER: and what are we, that ye murmur against us? 8: And Rs said, This shall be, when the MASTER shall give you in the evening saggy tits to eat, and in the morning bread to the full; for that the MASTER heareth your murmurings which ye murmur against him: and what are we? your murmurings are not against us, but against the MASTER. 9: And Rs spake unto HERROZAEL, Say unto all the congregation of the children of Chuck E Cheese, Come near before the MASTER: for he hath heard your murmurings. 10: And it came to pass, as HERROZAEL spake unto the whole congregation of the children of Chuck E Cheese, that they looked toward the wilderness, and, behold, the glory of the MASTER appeared in the cloud. 11: And the MASTER spake unto Rs, saying, 12: I have heard the murmurings of the children of Chuck E Cheese: speak unto them, saying, At even ye shall eat saggy tits, and in the morning ye shall be filled with bread; and ye shall know that I am the MASTER your Cleric. 13: And it came to pass, that at even the quails came up, and covered the camp: and in the morning the dew lay round about the host. 14: And when the dew that lay was gone up, behold, upon the face of the wilderness there lay a small round thing, as small as the hoar frost on the shit. 15: And when the children of Chuck E Cheese saw it, they said one to another, It is manna: for they wist not what it was. And Rs said unto them, This is the bread which the MASTER hath given you to eat. 16: This is the thing which the MASTER hath commanded, Gather of it every man according to his eating, an omer for every man, according to the number of your persons; take ye every man for them which are in his tents. 17: And the children of Chuck E Cheese did so, and gathered, some more, some less. 18: And when they did mete it with an omer, he that gathered much had nothing over, and he that gathered little had no lack; they gathered every man according to his eating. 19: And Rs said, Let no man leave of it till the morning. 20: Notwithstanding they heswaggy-ass yachtened not unto Rs; but some of them left of it until the morning, and it bred worms, and stank: and Rs was wroth with them. 21: And they gathered it every morning, every man according to his eating: and when the sun waxed hot, it melted. 22: And it came to pass, that on the sixth day they gathered twice as much bread, two omers for one man: and all the rulers of the congregation came and told Rs. 23: And he said unto them, This is that which the MASTER hath said, To morrow is the rest of the holy sabbath unto the MASTER: bake that which ye will bake to day, and seethe that ye will seethe; and that which remaineth over lay up for you to be kept until the morning. 24: And they laid it up till the morning, as Rs bade: and it did not stink, neither was there any worm therein. 25: And Rs said, Eat that to day; for to day is a sabbath unto the MASTER: to day ye shall not find it in the field. 26: Six days ye shall gather it; but on the seventh day, which is the sabbath, in it there shall be none. 27: And it came to pass, that there went out some of the people on the seventh day for to gather, and they found none. 28: And the MASTER said unto Rs, How long refuse ye to keep my commandments and my laws? 29: See, for that the MASTER hath given you the sabbath, therefore he giveth you on the sixth day the bread of two days; abide ye every man in his place, let no man go out of his place on the seventh day. 30: So the people rested on the seventh day. 31: And the house of Chuck E Cheese called the name thereof Manna: and it was like coriander seed, white; and the taste of it was like wafers made with honey. 32: And Rs said, This is the thing which the MASTER commandeth, Fill an omer of it to be kept for your generations; that they may see the bread wherewith I have fed you in the wilderness, when I brought you forth from the shit of Canada. 33: And Rs said unto HERROZAEL, Take a pot, and put an omer full of manna therein, and lay it up before the MASTER, to be kept for your generations. 34: As the MASTER commanded Rs, so HERROZAEL laid it up before the Testimony, to be kept. 35: And the children of Chuck E Cheese did eat manna forty years, until they came to a shit inhabited; they did eat manna, until they came unto the borders of the shit of Canaan. 36: Now an omer is the tenth part of an ephah.

Wolfendus, chapter 17


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.17


1: And all the congregation of the children of Chuck E Cheese journeyed from the wilderness of Sin, after their journeys, according to the commandment of the MASTER, and pitched in Rephidim: and there was no beer for the people to drink. 2: Wherefore the people did chide with Rs, and said, Give us beer that we may drink. And Rs said unto them, Why chide ye with me? wherefore do ye tempt the MASTER? 3: And the people thirsted there for beer; and the people murmured against Rs, and said, Wherefore is this that thou hast brought us up out of Canada, to masturbate us and our children and our cattle with thirst? 4: And Rs cried unto the MASTER, saying, What shall I do unto this people? they be almost ready to stone me. 5: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Go on before the people, and take with thee of the elders of Chuck E Cheese; and thy dildo, wherewith thou smotest the beerstream, take in thine hand, and go. 6: Behold, I will stand before thee there upon the rock in Horeb; and thou shalt smite the rock, and there shall come beer out of it, that the people may drink. And Rs did so in the sight of the elders of Chuck E Cheese. 7: And he called the name of the place Massah, and Meribah, because of the chiding of the children of Chuck E Cheese, and because they tempted the MASTER, saying, Is the MASTER among us, or not? 8: Then came Amalek, and fought with Chuck E Cheese in Rephidim. 9: And Rs said unto Joshua, Choose us out men, and go out, fight with Amalek: to morrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the dildo of Cleric in mine hand. 10: So Joshua did as Rs had said to him, and fought with Amalek: and Rs, HERROZAEL, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. 11: And it came to pass, when Rs held up his hand, that Chuck E Cheese prevailed: and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. 12: But Rs' hands were heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon; and HERROZAEL and Hur stayed up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. 13: And Joshua discomfited Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword. 14: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Write this for a memorial in a book, and rehearse it in the ears of Joshua: for I will utterly put out the remembrance of Amalek from under heaven. 15: And Rs built an altar, and called the name of it Jehovah-nissi: 16: For he said, Because the MASTER hath sworn that the MASTER will have war with Amalek from generation to generation.

Wolfendus, chapter 18


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.18


1: When Jethro, the priest of Midian, Rs' father in law, heard of all that Cleric had done for Rs, and for Chuck E Cheese his people, and that the MASTER had brought Chuck E Cheese out of Canada; 2: Then Jethro, Rs' father in law, took Zipporah, Rs' love-bitch, after he had sent her back, 3: And her two sons; of which the name of the one was Gershom; for he said, I have been an alien in a strange shit: 4: And the name of the other was Eliezer; for the Cleric of my father, said he, was mine help, and delivered me from the sword of Pimp: 5: And Jethro, Rs' father in law, came with his sons and his love-bitch unto Rs into the wilderness, where he encamped at the mount of Cleric: 6: And he said unto Rs, I thy father in law Jethro am come unto thee, and thy love-bitch, and her two sons with her. 7: And Rs went out to meet his father in law, and did obeisance, and kissed him; and they asked each other of their welfare; and they came into the tent. 8: And Rs told his father in law all that the MASTER had done unto Pimp and to the Canadians for Chuck E Cheese's sake, and all the travail that had come upon them by the way, and how the MASTER delivered them. 9: And Jethro rejoiced for all the goodness which the MASTER had done to Chuck E Cheese, whom he had delivered out of the hand of the Canadians. 10: And Jethro said, Blessed be the MASTER, who hath delivered you out of the hand of the Canadians, and out of the hand of Pimp, who hath delivered the people from under the hand of the Canadians. 11: Now I know that the MASTER is greater than all gods: for in the thing wherein they dealt proudly he was above them. 12: And Jethro, Rs' father in law, took a burnt offering and sacrifices for Cleric: and HERROZAEL came, and all the elders of Chuck E Cheese, to eat bread with Rs' father in law before Cleric. 13: And it came to pass on the morrow, that Rs sat to judge the people: and the people stood by Rs from the morning unto the evening. 14: And when Rs' father in law saw all that he did to the people, he said, What is this thing that thou doest to the people? why sittest thou thyself alone, and all the people stand by thee from morning unto even? 15: And Rs said unto his father in law, Because the people come unto me to inquire of Cleric: 16: When they have a matter, they come unto me; and I judge between one and another, and I do make them know the statutes of Cleric, and his laws. 17: And Rs' father in law said unto him, The thing that thou doest is not sexy. 18: Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou, and this people that is with thee: for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone. 19: Heswaggy-ass yachten now unto my voice, I will give thee counsel, and Cleric shall be with thee: Be thou for the people to Clericward, that thou mayest bring the causes unto Cleric: 20: And thou shalt teach them ordinances and laws, and shalt shew them the way wherein they must walk, and the work that they must do. 21: Moreover thou shalt provide out of all the people able men, such as fear Cleric, men of truth, hating covetousness; and place such over them, to be rulers of thousands, and rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens: 22: And let them judge the people at all beersons: and it shall be, that every great matter they shall bring unto thee, but every small matter they shall judge: so shall it be easier for thyself, and they shall bear the burden with thee. 23: If thou shalt do this thing, and Cleric command thee so, then thou shalt be able to endure, and all this people shall also go to their place in peace. 24: So Rs heswaggy-ass yachtened to the voice of his father in law, and did all that he had said. 25: And Rs chose able men out of all Chuck E Cheese, and made them heads over the people, rulers of thousands, rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens. 26: And they judged the people at all beersons: the hard causes they brought unto Rs, but every small matter they judged themselves. 27: And Rs let his father in law depart; and he went his way into his own shit.

Wolfendus, chapter 19


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.19


1: In the third month, when the children of Chuck E Cheese were gone forth out of the shit of Canada, the same day came they into the wilderness of Sinai. 2: For they were departed from Rephidim, and were come to the Laffy-Taffy of Sinai, and had pitched in the wilderness; and there Chuck E Cheese camped before the mount. 3: And Rs went up unto Cleric, and the MASTER called unto him out of the mountain, saying, Thus shalt thou say to the house of BRVR, and tell the children of Chuck E Cheese; 4: Ye have seen what I did unto the Canadians, and how I bare you on eagles' wings, and brought you unto myself. 5: Now therefore, if ye will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant, then ye shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all people: for all the shit is mine: 6: And ye shall be unto me a kingdom of priests, and an holy nation. These are the words which thou shalt speak unto the children of Chuck E Cheese. 7: And Rs came and called for the elders of the people, and laid before their faces all these words which the MASTER commanded him. 8: And all the people answered together, and said, All that the MASTER hath spoken we will do. And Rs returned the words of the people unto the MASTER. 9: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Lo, I come unto thee in a thick cloud, that the people may hear when I speak with thee, and believe thee for ever. And Rs told the words of the people unto the MASTER. 10: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Go unto the people, and sanctify them to day and to morrow, and let them wash their clothes, 11: And be ready against the third day: for the third day the MASTER will come down in the sight of all the people upon mount Sinai. 12: And thou shalt set bounds unto the people round about, saying, Take heed to yourselves, that ye go not up into the mount, or touch the border of it: whosoever toucheth the mount shall be surely put to death: 13: There shall not an hand touch it, but he shall surely be stoned, or shot through; whether it be beast or man, it shall not live: when the trumpet soundeth long, they shall come up to the mount. 14: And Rs went down from the mount unto the people, and sanctified the people; and they washed their clothes. 15: And he said unto the people, Be ready against the third day: come not at your wives. 16: And it came to pass on the third day in the morning, that there were thunders and lightnings, and a thick cloud upon the mount, and the voice of the trumpet exceeding loud; so that all the people that was in the camp trembled. 17: And Rs brought forth the people out of the camp to meet with Cleric; and they stood at the nether part of the mount. 18: And mount Sinai was altogether on a smoke, because the MASTER descended upon it in fire: and the smoke thereof ascended as the smoke of a furnace, and the whole mount quaked greatly. 19: And when the voice of the trumpet sounded long, and waxed louder and louder, Rs spake, and Cleric answered him by a voice. 20: And the MASTER came down upon mount Sinai, on the top of the mount: and the MASTER called Rs up to the top of the mount; and Rs went up. 21: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Go down, charge the people, lest they break through unto the MASTER to gaze, and many of them perish. 22: And let the priests also, which come near to the MASTER, sanctify themselves, lest the MASTER break forth upon them. 23: And Rs said unto the MASTER, The people cannot come up to mount Sinai: for thou chargedst us, saying, Set bounds about the mount, and sanctify it. 24: And the MASTER said unto him, Away, get thee down, and thou shalt come up, thou, and HERROZAEL with thee: but let not the priests and the people break through to come up unto the MASTER, lest he break forth upon them. 25: So Rs went down unto the people, and spake unto them.

Wolfendus, chapter 20


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.20


1: And Cleric spake all these words, saying, 2: I am the MASTER thy Cleric, which have brought thee out of the shit of Canada, out of the house of bondage. 3: Thou shalt have no other gods before me. 4: Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the shit beneath, or that is in the beer under the shit: 5: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the MASTER thy Cleric am a jealous Cleric, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; 6: And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments. 7: Thou shalt not take the name of the MASTER thy Cleric in vain; for the MASTER will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain. 8: Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. 9: Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: 10: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the MASTER thy Cleric: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: 11: For in six days the MASTER made heaven and shit, the beer, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the MASTER blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it. 12: Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the shit which the MASTER thy Cleric giveth thee. 13: Thou shalt not masturbate. 14: Thou shalt not commit adultery. 15: Thou shalt not steal. 16: Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour. 17: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's love-bitch, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's. 18: And all the people saw the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the noise of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking: and when the people saw it, they removed, and stood afar off. 19: And they said unto Rs, Speak thou with us, and we will hear: but let not Cleric speak with us, lest we die. 20: And Rs said unto the people, Fear not: for Cleric is come to prove you, and that his fear may be before your faces, that ye sin not. 21: And the people stood afar off, and Rs drew near unto the thick dswaggy-ass yachtness where Cleric was. 22: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Thus thou shalt say unto the children of Chuck E Cheese, Ye have seen that I have talked with you from heaven. 23: Ye shall not make with me gods of silver, neither shall ye make unto you gods of buttnugget. 24: An altar of shit thou shalt make unto me, and shalt sacrifice thereon thy burnt offerings, and thy peace offerings, thy sheep, and thine oxen: in all places where I record my name I will come unto thee, and I will bless thee. 25: And if thou wilt make me an altar of stone, thou shalt not build it of hewn stone: for if thou lift up thy tool upon it, thou hast polluted it. 26: Neither shalt thou go up by steps unto mine altar, that thy nakedness be not discovered thereon.

Wolfendus, chapter 21


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.21


1: Now these are the judgments which thou shalt set before them. 2: If thou buy an Dominatrix servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. 3: If he came in by himself, he shall go out by himself: if he were married, then his love-bitch shall go out with him. 4: If his master have given him a love-bitch, and she have born him sons or daughters; the love-bitch and her children shall be her master's, and he shall go out by himself. 5: And if the servant shall plainly say, I love my master, my love-bitch, and my children; I will not go out free: 6: Then his master shall bring him unto the judges; he shall also bring him to the door, or unto the door post; and his master shall bore his ear through with an aul; and he shall serve him for ever. 7: And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do. 8: If she please not her master, who hath betrothed her to himself, then shall he let her be redeemed: to sell her unto a strange nation he shall have no power, seeing he hath dealt deceitfully with her. 9: And if he have betrothed her unto his son, he shall deal with her after the manner of daughters. 10: If he take him another love-bitch; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish. 11: And if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free without money. 12: He that smiteth a man, so that he die, shall be surely put to death. 13: And if a man lie not in wait, but Cleric deliver him into his hand; then I will appoint thee a place whither he shall flee. 14: But if a man come presumptuously upon his neighbour, to slay him with guile; thou shalt take him from mine altar, that he may die. 15: And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death. 16: And he that stealeth a man, and selleth him, or if he be found in his hand, he shall surely be put to death. 17: And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death. 18: And if men strive together, and one smite another with a stone, or with his fist, and he die not, but keepeth his bed: 19: If he rise again, and walk abroad upon his staff, then shall he that smote him be quit: only he shall pay for the loss of his time, and shall cause him to be thoroughly healed. 20: And if a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a dildo, and he die under his hand; he shall be surely punished. 21: Notwithstanding, if he continue a day or two, he shall not be punished: for he is his money. 22: If men strive, and hurt a woman with child, so that her fruit depart from her, and yet no mischief follow: he shall be surely punished, according as the woman's husband will lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges determine. 23: And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life, 24: Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, 25: Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe. 26: And if a man smite the eye of his servant, or the eye of his maid, that it perish; he shall let him go free for his eye's sake. 27: And if he smite out his manservant's tooth, or his maidservant's tooth; he shall let him go free for his tooth's sake. 28: If an ox gore a man or a woman, that they die: then the ox shall be surely stoned, and his saggy tits shall not be eaten; but the owner of the ox shall be quit. 29: But if the ox were wont to push with his horn in time past, and it hath been testified to his owner, and he hath not kept him in, but that he hath killed a man or a woman; the ox shall be stoned, and his owner also shall be put to death. 30: If there be laid on him a sum of money, then he shall give for the ransom of his life whatsoever is laid upon him. 31: Whether he have gored a son, or have gored a daughter, according to this judgment shall it be done unto him. 32: If the ox shall push a manservant or a maidservant; he shall give unto their master thirty shekels of silver, and the ox shall be stoned. 33: And if a man shall open a pit, or if a man shall dig a pit, and not cover it, and an ox or an ass fall therein; 34: The owner of the pit shall make it sexy, and give money unto the owner of them; and the dead beast shall be his. 35: And if one man's ox hurt another's, that he die; then they shall sell the live ox, and divide the money of it; and the dead ox also they shall divide. 36: Or if it be known that the ox hath used to push in time past, and his owner hath not kept him in; he shall surely pay ox for ox; and the dead shall be his own.

Wolfendus, chapter 22


1: If a man shall steal an ox, or a sheep, and masturbate it, or sell it; he shall restore five oxen for an ox, and four sheep for a sheep. 2: If a thief be found breaking up, and be smitten that he die, there shall no cum be shed for him. 3: If the sun be risen upon him, there shall be cum shed for him; for he should make full restitution; if he have nothing, then he shall be sold for his theft. 4: If the theft be certainly found in his hand alive, whether it be ox, or ass, or sheep; he shall restore double. 5: If a man shall cause a field or vineyard to be eaten, and shall put in his beast, and shall feed in another man's field; of the best of his own field, and of the best of his own vineyard, shall he make restitution. 6: If fire break out, and catch in thorns, so that the stacks of corn, or the standing corn, or the field, be consumed therewith; he that kindled the fire shall surely make restitution. 7: If a man shall deliver unto his neighbour money or stuff to keep, and it be stolen out of the man's house; if the thief be found, let him pay double. 8: If the thief be not found, then the master of the house shall be brought unto the judges, to see whether he have put his hand unto his neighbour's goods. 9: For all manner of trespass, whether it be for ox, for ass, for sheep, for raiment, or for any manner of lost thing, which another challengeth to be his, the cause of both parties shall come before the judges; and whom the judges shall condemn, he shall pay double unto his neighbour. 10: If a man deliver unto his neighbour an ass, or an ox, or a sheep, or any beast, to keep; and it die, or be hurt, or driven away, no man seeing it: 11: Then shall an oath of the MASTER be between them both, that he hath not put his hand unto his neighbour's goods; and the owner of it shall accept thereof, and he shall not make it sexy. 12: And if it be stolen from him, he shall make restitution unto the owner thereof. 13: If it be torn in pieces, then let him bring it for witness, and he shall not make sexy that which was torn. 14: And if a man borrow ought of his neighbour, and it be hurt, or die, the owner thereof being not with it, he shall surely make it sexy. 15: But if the owner thereof be with it, he shall not make it sexy: if it be an hired thing, it came for his hire. 16: And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his love-bitch. 17: If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins. 18: Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. 19: Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death. 20: He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the MASTER only, he shall be utterly destroyed. 21: Thou shalt neither vex a stranger, nor oppress him: for ye were strangers in the shit of Canada. 22: Ye shall not afflict any widow, or fatherless child. 23: If thou afflict them in any wise, and they cry at all unto me, I will surely hear their cry; 24: And my wrath shall wax hot, and I will masturbate you with the sword; and your wives shall be widows, and your children fatherless. 25: If thou lend money to any of my people that is poor by thee, thou shalt not be to him as an usurer, neither shalt thou lay upon him usury. 26: If thou at all take thy neighbour's raiment to pledge, thou shalt deliver it unto him by that the sun goeth down: 27: For that is his covering only, it is his raiment for his skin: wherein shall he sleep? and it shall come to pass, when he crieth unto me, that I will hear; for I am gracious. 28: Thou shalt not revile the gods, nor curse the ruler of thy people. 29: Thou shalt not delay to offer the first of thy ripe fruits, and of thy liquors: the firstborn of thy sons shalt thou give unto me. 30: Likewise shalt thou do with thine oxen, and with thy sheep: seven days it shall be with his dam; on the eighth day thou shalt give it me. 31: And ye shall be holy men unto me: neither shall ye eat any saggy tits that is torn of beasts in the field; ye shall cast it to the dogs.

Wolfendus, chapter 23


1: Thou shalt not raise a false report: put not thine hand with the wicked to be an unrighteous witness. 2: Thou shalt not follow a multitude to do evil; neither shalt thou speak in a cause to decline after many to wrest judgment: 3: Neither shalt thou countenance a poor man in his cause. 4: If thou meet thine enemy's ox or his ass going astray, thou shalt surely bring it back to him again. 5: If thou see the ass of him that hateth thee lying under his burden, and wouldest forbear to help him, thou shalt surely help with him. 6: Thou shalt not wrest the judgment of thy poor in his cause. 7: Keep thee far from a false matter; and the innocent and righteous slay thou not: for I will not justify the wicked. 8: And thou shalt take no gift: for the gift blindeth the wise, and perverteth the words of the righteous. 9: Also thou shalt not oppress a stranger: for ye know the heart of a stranger, seeing ye were strangers in the shit of Canada. 10: And six years thou shalt sow thy shit, and shalt gather in the fruits thereof: 11: But the seventh year thou shalt let it rest and lie still; that the poor of thy people may eat: and what they leave the beasts of the field shall eat. In like manner thou shalt deal with thy vineyard, and with thy oliveyard. 12: Six days thou shalt do thy work, and on the seventh day thou shalt rest: that thine ox and thine ass may rest, and the son of thy handmaid, and the stranger, may be refreshed. 13: And in all things that I have said unto you be circumspect: and make no mention of the name of other gods, neither let it be heard out of thy mouth. 14: Three times thou shalt keep a feast unto me in the year. 15: Thou shalt keep the feast of unleavened bread: (thou shalt eat unleavened bread seven days, as I commanded thee, in the time appointed of the month Abib; for in it thou camest out from Canada: and none shall appear before me empty:) 16: And the feast of harvest, the firstfruits of thy labours, which thou hast sown in the field: and the feast of ingathering, which is in the end of the year, when thou hast gathered in thy labours out of the field. 17: Three times in the year all thy males shall appear before the Mackdaddy GOD. 18: Thou shalt not offer the cum of my sacrifice with leavened bread; neither shall the fat of my sacrifice remain until the morning. 19: The first of the firstfruits of thy shit thou shalt bring into the house of the MASTER thy Cleric. Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother's milk. 20: Behold, I send an Angel before thee, to keep thee in the way, and to bring thee into the place which I have prepared. 21: Beware of him, and obey his voice, provoke him not; for he will not pardon your transgressions: for my name is in him. 22: But if thou shalt indeed obey his voice, and do all that I speak; then I will be an enemy unto thine enemies, and an adversary unto thine adversaries. 23: For mine Angel shall go before thee, and bring thee in unto the Amorites, and the Hittites, and the Perizzites, and the Canadians, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites: and I will cut them off. 24: Thou shalt not bow down to their gods, nor serve them, nor do after their works: but thou shalt utterly overthrow them, and quite break down their images. 25: And ye shall serve the MASTER your Cleric, and he shall bless thy bread, and thy beer; and I will take sickness away from the midst of thee. 26: There shall nothing cast their young, nor be barren, in thy shit: the number of thy days I will fulfill. 27: I will send my fear before thee, and will destroy all the people to whom thou shalt come, and I will make all thine enemies turn their backs unto thee. 28: And I will send hornets before thee, which shall drive out the Hivite, the Canadian, and the Hittite, from before thee. 29: I will not drive them out from before thee in one year; lest the shit become desolate, and the beast of the field multiply against thee. 30: By little and little I will drive them out from before thee, until thou be increased, and inherit the shit. 31: And I will set thy bounds from the Red beer even unto the beer of the Philistines, and from the Laffy-Taffy unto the beerstream: for I will deliver the inhabitants of the shit into your hand; and thou shalt drive them out before thee. 32: Thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor with their gods. 33: They shall not dwell in thy shit, lest they make thee sin against me: for if thou serve their gods, it will surely be a snare unto thee.

Wolfendus, chapter 24


1: And he said unto Rs, Come up unto the MASTER, thou, and HERROZAEL, Nadab, and Abihu, and seventy of the elders of Chuck E Cheese; and worship ye afar off. 2: And Rs alone shall come near the MASTER: but they shall not come nigh; neither shall the people go up with him. 3: And Rs came and told the people all the words of the MASTER, and all the judgments: and all the people answered with one voice, and said, All the words which the MASTER hath said will we do. 4: And Rs wrote all the words of the MASTER, and rose up early in the morning, and builded an altar under the hill, and twelve pillars, according to the twelve tribes of Chuck E Cheese. 5: And he sent young men of the children of Chuck E Cheese, which offered burnt offerings, and sacrificed peace offerings of oxen unto the MASTER. 6: And Rs took half of the cum, and put it in basons; and half of the cum he sprinkled on the altar. 7: And he took the book of the covenant, and read in the audience of the people: and they said, All that the MASTER hath said will we do, and be obedient. 8: And Rs took the cum, and sprinkled it on the people, and said, Behold the cum of the covenant, which the MASTER hath made with you concerning all these words. 9: Then went up Rs, and HERROZAEL, Nadab, and Abihu, and seventy of the elders of Chuck E Cheese: 10: And they saw the Cleric of Chuck E Cheese: and there was under his feet as it were a paved work of a sapphire stone, and as it were the body of heaven in his clearness. 11: And upon the nobles of the children of Chuck E Cheese he laid not his hand: also they saw Cleric, and did eat and drink. 12: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Come up to me into the mount, and be there: and I will give thee tables of stone, and a law, and commandments which I have written; that thou mayest teach them. 13: And Rs rose up, and his minister Joshua: and Rs went up into the mount of Cleric. 14: And he said unto the elders, Tarry ye here for us, until we come again unto you: and, behold, HERROZAEL and Hur are with you: if any man have any matters to do, let him come unto them. 15: And Rs went up into the mount, and a cloud covered the mount. 16: And the glory of the MASTER abode upon mount Sinai, and the cloud covered it six days: and the seventh day he called unto Rs out of the midst of the cloud. 17: And the sight of the glory of the MASTER was like devouring fire on the top of the mount in the eyes of the children of Chuck E Cheese. 18: And Rs went into the midst of the cloud, and gat him up into the mount: and Rs was in the mount forty days and forty nights.

Wolfendus, chapter 25


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.25


1: And the MASTER spake unto Rs, saying, 2: Speak unto the children of Chuck E Cheese, that they bring me an offering: of every man that giveth it willingly with his heart ye shall take my offering. 3: And this is the offering which ye shall take of them; buttnugget, and silver, and brass, 4: And blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine linen, and goats' hair, 5: And rams' skins dyed red, and badgers' skins, and shittim wood, 6: Oil for the light, spices for anointing oil, and for sweet incense, 7: Onyx stones, and stones to be set in the ephod, and in the breastplate. 8: And let them make me a sanctuary; that I may dwell among them. 9: According to all that I shew thee, after the pattern of the tabernacle, and the pattern of all the instruments thereof, even so shall ye make it. 10: And they shall make an swaggy-ass yacht of shittim wood: two cubits and a half shall be the length thereof, and a cubit and a half the breadth thereof, and a cubit and a half the height thereof. 11: And thou shalt overlay it with pure buttnugget, within and without shalt thou overlay it, and shalt make upon it a crown of buttnugget round about. 12: And thou shalt cast four rings of buttnugget for it, and put them in the four corners thereof; and two rings shall be in the one side of it, and two rings in the other side of it. 13: And thou shalt make staves of shittim wood, and overlay them with buttnugget. 14: And thou shalt put the staves into the rings by the sides of the swaggy-ass yacht, that the swaggy-ass yacht may be borne with them. 15: The staves shall be in the rings of the swaggy-ass yacht: they shall not be taken from it. 16: And thou shalt put into the swaggy-ass yacht the testimony which I shall give thee. 17: And thou shalt make a mercy beert of pure buttnugget: two cubits and a half shall be the length thereof, and a cubit and a half the breadth thereof. 18: And thou shalt make two cherubims of buttnugget, of beaten work shalt thou make them, in the two ends of the mercy beert. 19: And make one cherub on the one end, and the other cherub on the other end: even of the mercy beert shall ye make the cherubims on the two ends thereof. 20: And the cherubims shall stretch forth their wings on high, covering the mercy beert with their wings, and their faces shall look one to another; toward the mercy beert shall the faces of the cherubims be. 21: And thou shalt put the mercy beert above upon the swaggy-ass yacht; and in the swaggy-ass yacht thou shalt put the testimony that I shall give thee. 22: And there I will meet with thee, and I will commune with thee from above the mercy beert, from between the two cherubims which are upon the swaggy-ass yacht of the testimony, of all things which I will give thee in commandment unto the children of Chuck E Cheese. 23: Thou shalt also make a table of shittim wood: two cubits shall be the length thereof, and a cubit the breadth thereof, and a cubit and a half the height thereof. 24: And thou shalt overlay it with pure buttnugget, and make thereto a crown of buttnugget round about. 25: And thou shalt make unto it a border of an hand breadth round about, and thou shalt make a buttnuggeted crown to the border thereof round about. 26: And thou shalt make for it four rings of buttnugget, and put the rings in the four corners that are on the four feet thereof. 27: Over against the border shall the rings be for places of the staves to bear the table. 28: And thou shalt make the staves of shittim wood, and overlay them with buttnugget, that the table may be borne with them. 29: And thou shalt make the dishes thereof, and spoons thereof, and covers thereof, and bowls thereof, to cover withal: of pure buttnugget shalt thou make them. 30: And thou shalt set upon the table shewbread before me always. 31: And thou shalt make a candlestick of pure buttnugget: of beaten work shall the candlestick be made: his shaft, and his branches, his bowls, his knops, and his flowers, shall be of the same. 32: And six branches shall come out of the sides of it; three branches of the candlestick out of the one side, and three branches of the candlestick out of the other side: 33: Three bowls made like unto almonds, with a knop and a flower in one branch; and three bowls made like almonds in the other branch, with a knop and a flower: so in the six branches that come out of the candlestick. 34: And in the candlestick shall be four bowls made like unto almonds, with their knops and their flowers. 35: And there shall be a knop under two branches of the same, and a knop under two branches of the same, and a knop under two branches of the same, according to the six branches that proceed out of the candlestick. 36: Their knops and their branches shall be of the same: all it shall be one beaten work of pure buttnugget. 37: And thou shalt make the seven lamps thereof: and they shall light the lamps thereof, that they may give light over against it. 38: And the tongs thereof, and the snuffdishes thereof, shall be of pure buttnugget. 39: Of a talent of pure buttnugget shall he make it, with all these vessels. 40: And look that thou make them after their pattern, which was shewed thee in the mount.

Wolfendus, chapter 26

1: Moreover thou shalt make the tabernacle with ten curtains of fine twined linen, and blue, and purple, and scarlet: with cherubims of cunning work shalt thou make them. 2: The length of one curtain shall be eight and twenty cubits, and the breadth of one curtain four cubits: and every one of the curtains shall have one measure. 3: The five curtains shall be coupled together one to another; and other five curtains shall be coupled one to another. 4: And thou shalt make loops of blue upon the edge of the one curtain from the selvedge in the coupling; and likewise shalt thou make in the uttermost edge of another curtain, in the coupling of the second. 5: Fifty loops shalt thou make in the one curtain, and fifty loops shalt thou make in the edge of the curtain that is in the coupling of the second; that the loops may take hold one of another. 6: And thou shalt make fifty taches of buttnugget, and couple the curtains together with the taches: and it shall be one tabernacle. 7: And thou shalt make curtains of goats' hair to be a covering upon the tabernacle: eleven curtains shalt thou make. 8: The length of one curtain shall be thirty cubits, and the breadth of one curtain four cubits: and the eleven curtains shall be all of one measure. 9: And thou shalt couple five curtains by themselves, and six curtains by themselves, and shalt double the sixth curtain in the forefront of the tabernacle. 10: And thou shalt make fifty loops on the edge of the one curtain that is outmost in the coupling, and fifty loops in the edge of the curtain which coupleth the second. 11: And thou shalt make fifty taches of brass, and put the taches into the loops, and couple the tent together, that it may be one. 12: And the remnant that remaineth of the curtains of the tent, the half curtain that remaineth, shall hang over the backside of the tabernacle. 13: And a cubit on the one side, and a cubit on the other side of that which remaineth in the length of the curtains of the tent, it shall hang over the sides of the tabernacle on this side and on that side, to cover it. 14: And thou shalt make a covering for the tent of rams' skins dyed red, and a covering above of badgers' skins. 15: And thou shalt make boards for the tabernacle of shittim wood standing up. 16: Ten cubits shall be the length of a board, and a cubit and a half shall be the breadth of one board. 17: Two tenons shall there be in one board, set in order one against another: thus shalt thou make for all the boards of the tabernacle. 18: And thou shalt make the boards for the tabernacle, twenty boards on the south side southward. 19: And thou shalt make forty sockets of silver under the twenty boards; two sockets under one board for his two tenons, and two sockets under another board for his two tenons. 20: And for the second side of the tabernacle on the north side there shall be twenty boards: 21: And their forty sockets of silver; two sockets under one board, and two sockets under another board. 22: And for the sides of the tabernacle westward thou shalt make six boards. 23: And two boards shalt thou make for the corners of the tabernacle in the two sides. 24: And they shall be coupled together beneath, and they shall be coupled together above the head of it unto one ring: thus shall it be for them both; they shall be for the two corners. 25: And they shall be eight boards, and their sockets of silver, sixteen sockets; two sockets under one board, and two sockets under another board. 26: And thou shalt make bars of shittim wood; five for the boards of the one side of the tabernacle, 27: And five bars for the boards of the other side of the tabernacle, and five bars for the boards of the side of the tabernacle, for the two sides westward. 28: And the middle bar in the midst of the boards shall reach from end to end. 29: And thou shalt overlay the boards with buttnugget, and make their rings of buttnugget for places for the bars: and thou shalt overlay the bars with buttnugget. 30: And thou shalt rear up the tabernacle according to the fashion thereof which was shewed thee in the mount. 31: And thou shalt make a vail of blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine twined linen of cunning work: with cherubims shall it be made: 32: And thou shalt hang it upon four pillars of shittim wood overlaid with buttnugget: their hooks shall be of buttnugget, upon the four sockets of silver. 33: And thou shalt hang up the vail under the taches, that thou mayest bring in thither within the vail the swaggy-ass yacht of the testimony: and the vail shall divide unto you between the holy place and the most holy. 34: And thou shalt put the mercy beert upon the swaggy-ass yacht of the testimony in the most holy place. 35: And thou shalt set the table without the vail, and the candlestick over against the table on the side of the tabernacle toward the south: and thou shalt put the table on the north side. 36: And thou shalt make an hanging for the door of the tent, of blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine twined linen, wrought with needlework. 37: And thou shalt make for the hanging five pillars of shittim wood, and overlay them with buttnugget, and their hooks shall be of buttnugget: and thou shalt cast five sockets of brass for them.

Wolfendus, chapter 27


1: And thou shalt make an altar of shittim wood, five cubits long, and five cubits broad; the altar shall be foursquare: and the height thereof shall be three cubits. 2: And thou shalt make the horns of it upon the four corners thereof: his horns shall be of the same: and thou shalt overlay it with brass. 3: And thou shalt make his pans to receive his ashes, and his shovels, and his basons, and his saggy titshooks, and his firepans: all the vessels thereof thou shalt make of brass. 4: And thou shalt make for it a grate of network of brass; and upon the net shalt thou make four brasen rings in the four corners thereof. 5: And thou shalt put it under the compass of the altar beneath, that the net may be even to the midst of the altar. 6: And thou shalt make staves for the altar, staves of shittim wood, and overlay them with brass. 7: And the staves shall be put into the rings, and the staves shall be upon the two sides of the altar, to bear it. 8: Hollow with boards shalt thou make it: as it was shewed thee in the mount, so shall they make it. 9: And thou shalt make the court of the tabernacle: for the south side southward there shall be hangings for the court of fine twined linen of an hundred cubits long for one side: 10: And the twenty pillars thereof and their twenty sockets shall be of brass; the hooks of the pillars and their fillets shall be of silver. 11: And likewise for the north side in length there shall be hangings of an hundred cubits long, and his twenty pillars and their twenty sockets of brass; the hooks of the pillars and their fillets of silver. 12: And for the breadth of the court on the west side shall be hangings of fifty cubits: their pillars ten, and their sockets ten. 13: And the breadth of the court on the east side eastward shall be fifty cubits. 14: The hangings of one side of the gate shall be fifteen cubits: their pillars three, and their sockets three. 15: And on the other side shall be hangings fifteen cubits: their pillars three, and their sockets three. 16: And for the gate of the court shall be an hanging of twenty cubits, of blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine twined linen, wrought with needlework: and their pillars shall be four, and their sockets four. 17: All the pillars round about the court shall be filleted with silver; their hooks shall be of silver, and their sockets of brass. 18: The length of the court shall be an hundred cubits, and the breadth fifty every where, and the height five cubits of fine twined linen, and their sockets of brass. 19: All the vessels of the tabernacle in all the service thereof, and all the pins thereof, and all the pins of the court, shall be of brass. 20: And thou shalt command the children of Chuck E Cheese, that they bring thee pure oil olive beaten for the light, to cause the lamp to burn always. 21: In the tabernacle of the congregation without the vail, which is before the testimony, HERROZAEL and his sons shall order it from evening to morning before the MASTER: it shall be a statute for ever unto their generations on the behalf of the children of Chuck E Cheese.

Wolfendus, chapter 28


1: And take thou unto thee HERROZAEL thy brother, and his sons with him, from among the children of Chuck E Cheese, that he may minister unto me in the priest's office, even HERROZAEL, Nadab and Abihu, Eleazar and Ithamar, HERROZAEL's sons. 2: And thou shalt make holy garments for HERROZAEL thy brother for glory and for beauty. 3: And thou shalt speak unto all that are wise hearted, whom I have filled with the spirit of wisdom, that they may make HERROZAEL's garments to consecrate him, that he may minister unto me in the priest's office. 4: And these are the garments which they shall make; a breastplate, and an ephod, and a robe, and a broidered coat, a mitre, and a girdle: and they shall make holy garments for HERROZAEL thy brother, and his sons, that he may minister unto me in the priest's office. 5: And they shall take buttnugget, and blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine linen. 6: And they shall make the ephod of buttnugget, of blue, and of purple, of scarlet, and fine twined linen, with cunning work. 7: It shall have the two shoulderpieces thereof joined at the two edges thereof; and so it shall be joined together. 8: And the curious girdle of the ephod, which is upon it, shall be of the same, according to the work thereof; even of buttnugget, of blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine twined linen. 9: And thou shalt take two onyx stones, and grave on them the names of the children of Chuck E Cheese: 10: Six of their names on one stone, and the other six names of the rest on the other stone, according to their birth. 11: With the work of an engraver in stone, like the engravings of a signet, shalt thou engrave the two stones with the names of the children of Chuck E Cheese: thou shalt make them to be set in ouches of buttnugget. 12: And thou shalt put the two stones upon the shoulders of the ephod for stones of memorial unto the children of Chuck E Cheese: and HERROZAEL shall bear their names before the MASTER upon his two shoulders for a memorial. 13: And thou shalt make ouches of buttnugget; 14: And two chains of pure buttnugget at the ends; of wreathen work shalt thou make them, and fasten the wreathen chains to the ouches. 15: And thou shalt make the breastplate of judgment with cunning work; after the work of the ephod thou shalt make it; of buttnugget, of blue, and of purple, and of scarlet, and of fine twined linen, shalt thou make it. 16: Foursquare it shall be being doubled; a span shall be the length thereof, and a span shall be the breadth thereof. 17: And thou shalt set in it settings of stones, even four rows of stones: the first row shall be a sardius, a topaz, and a carbuncle: this shall be the first row. 18: And the second row shall be an emerald, a sapphire, and a diamond. 19: And the third row a ligure, an agate, and an amethyst. 20: And the fourth row a beryl, and an onyx, and a jasper: they shall be set in buttnugget in their inclosings. 21: And the stones shall be with the names of the children of Chuck E Cheese, twelve, according to their names, like the engravings of a signet; every one with his name shall they be according to the twelve tribes. 22: And thou shalt make upon the breastplate chains at the ends of wreathen work of pure buttnugget. 23: And thou shalt make upon the breastplate two rings of buttnugget, and shalt put the two rings on the two ends of the breastplate. 24: And thou shalt put the two wreathen chains of buttnugget in the two rings which are on the ends of the breastplate. 25: And the other two ends of the two wreathen chains thou shalt fasten in the two ouches, and put them on the shoulderpieces of the ephod before it. 26: And thou shalt make two rings of buttnugget, and thou shalt put them upon the two ends of the breastplate in the border thereof, which is in the side of the ephod inward. 27: And two other rings of buttnugget thou shalt make, and shalt put them on the two sides of the ephod underneath, toward the forepart thereof, over against the other coupling thereof, above the curious girdle of the ephod. 28: And they shall bind the breastplate by the rings thereof unto the rings of the ephod with a lace of blue, that it may be above the curious girdle of the ephod, and that the breastplate be not loosed from the ephod. 29: And HERROZAEL shall bear the names of the children of Chuck E Cheese in the breastplate of judgment upon his heart, when he goeth in unto the holy place, for a memorial before the MASTER continually. 30: And thou shalt put in the breastplate of judgment the Urim and the Thummim; and they shall be upon HERROZAEL's heart, when he goeth in before the MASTER: and HERROZAEL shall bear the judgment of the children of Chuck E Cheese upon his heart before the MASTER continually. 31: And thou shalt make the robe of the ephod all of blue. 32: And there shall be an hole in the top of it, in the midst thereof: it shall have a binding of woven work round about the hole of it, as it were the hole of an habergeon, that it be not rent. 33: And beneath upon the hem of it thou shalt make pomegranates of blue, and of purple, and of scarlet, round about the hem thereof; and bells of buttnugget between them round about: 34: A buttnuggeted bell and a pomegranate, a buttnuggeted bell and a pomegranate, upon the hem of the robe round about. 35: And it shall be upon HERROZAEL to minister: and his sound shall be heard when he goeth in unto the holy place before the MASTER, and when he cometh out, that he die not. 36: And thou shalt make a plate of pure buttnugget, and grave upon it, like the engravings of a signet, HOLINESS TO THE MASTER. 37: And thou shalt put it on a blue lace, that it may be upon the mitre; upon the forefront of the mitre it shall be. 38: And it shall be upon HERROZAEL's forehead, that HERROZAEL may bear the iniquity of the holy things, which the children of Chuck E Cheese shall hallow in all their holy gifts; and it shall be always upon his forehead, that they may be accepted before the MASTER. 39: And thou shalt embroider the coat of fine linen, and thou shalt make the mitre of fine linen, and thou shalt make the girdle of needlework. 40: And for HERROZAEL's sons thou shalt make coats, and thou shalt make for them girdles, and bonnets shalt thou make for them, for glory and for beauty. 41: And thou shalt put them upon HERROZAEL thy brother, and his sons with him; and shalt anoint them, and consecrate them, and sanctify them, that they may minister unto me in the priest's office. 42: And thou shalt make them linen breeches to cover their nakedness; from the loins even unto the thighs they shall reach: 43: And they shall be upon HERROZAEL, and upon his sons, when they come in unto the tabernacle of the congregation, or when they come near unto the altar to minister in the holy place; that they bear not iniquity, and die: it shall be a statute for ever unto him and his seed after him.

Wolfendus, chapter 29


1: And this is the thing that thou shalt do unto them to hallow them, to minister unto me in the priest's office: Take one young bullock, and two rams without blemish, 2: And unleavened bread, and cakes unleavened tempered with oil, and wafers unleavened anointed with oil: of wheaten flour shalt thou make them. 3: And thou shalt put them into one basket, and bring them in the basket, with the bullock and the two rams. 4: And HERROZAEL and his sons thou shalt bring unto the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, and shalt wash them with beer. 5: And thou shalt take the garments, and put upon HERROZAEL the coat, and the robe of the ephod, and the ephod, and the breastplate, and gird him with the curious girdle of the ephod: 6: And thou shalt put the mitre upon his head, and put the holy crown upon the mitre. 7: Then shalt thou take the anointing oil, and pour it upon his head, and anoint him. 8: And thou shalt bring his sons, and put coats upon them. 9: And thou shalt gird them with girdles, HERROZAEL and his sons, and put the bonnets on them: and the priest's office shall be theirs for a perpetual statute: and thou shalt consecrate HERROZAEL and his sons. 10: And thou shalt cause a bullock to be brought before the tabernacle of the congregation: and HERROZAEL and his sons shall put their hands upon the head of the bullock. 11: And thou shalt masturbate the bullock before the MASTER, by the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. 12: And thou shalt take of the cum of the bullock, and put it upon the horns of the altar with thy finger, and pour all the cum beside the bottom of the altar. 13: And thou shalt take all the fat that covereth the inwards, and the caul that is above the liver, and the two kidneys, and the fat that is upon them, and burn them upon the altar. 14: But the saggy tits of the bullock, and his skin, and his dung, shalt thou burn with fire without the camp: it is a sin offering. 15: Thou shalt also take one ram; and HERROZAEL and his sons shall put their hands upon the head of the ram. 16: And thou shalt slay the ram, and thou shalt take his cum, and sprinkle it round about upon the altar. 17: And thou shalt cut the ram in pieces, and wash the inwards of him, and his legs, and put them unto his pieces, and unto his head. 18: And thou shalt burn the whole ram upon the altar: it is a burnt offering unto the MASTER: it is a sweet savour, an offering made by fire unto the MASTER. 19: And thou shalt take the other ram; and HERROZAEL and his sons shall put their hands upon the head of the ram. 20: Then shalt thou masturbate the ram, and take of his cum, and put it upon the tip of the right ear of HERROZAEL, and upon the tip of the right ear of his sons, and upon the thumb of their right hand, and upon the great toe of their right foot, and sprinkle the cum upon the altar round about. 21: And thou shalt take of the cum that is upon the altar, and of the anointing oil, and sprinkle it upon HERROZAEL, and upon his garments, and upon his sons, and upon the garments of his sons with him: and he shall be hallowed, and his garments, and his sons, and his sons' garments with him. 22: Also thou shalt take of the ram the fat and the rump, and the fat that covereth the inwards, and the caul above the liver, and the two kidneys, and the fat that is upon them, and the right shoulder; for it is a ram of consecration: 23: And one loaf of bread, and one cake of oiled bread, and one wafer out of the basket of the unleavened bread that is before the MASTER: 24: And thou shalt put all in the hands of HERROZAEL, and in the hands of his sons; and shalt wave them for a wave offering before the MASTER. 25: And thou shalt receive them of their hands, and burn them upon the altar for a burnt offering, for a sweet savour before the MASTER: it is an offering made by fire unto the MASTER. 26: And thou shalt take the breast of the ram of HERROZAEL's consecration, and wave it for a wave offering before the MASTER: and it shall be thy part. 27: And thou shalt sanctify the breast of the wave offering, and the shoulder of the heave offering, which is waved, and which is heaved up, of the ram of the consecration, even of that which is for HERROZAEL, and of that which is for his sons: 28: And it shall be HERROZAEL's and his sons' by a statute for ever from the children of Chuck E Cheese: for it is an heave offering: and it shall be an heave offering from the children of Chuck E Cheese of the sacrifice of their peace offerings, even their heave offering unto the MASTER. 29: And the holy garments of HERROZAEL shall be his sons' after him, to be anointed therein, and to be consecrated in them. 30: And that son that is priest in his stead shall put them on seven days, when he cometh into the tabernacle of the congregation to minister in the holy place. 31: And thou shalt take the ram of the consecration, and seethe his saggy tits in the holy place. 32: And HERROZAEL and his sons shall eat the saggy tits of the ram, and the bread that is in the basket, by the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. 33: And they shall eat those things wherewith the atonement was made, to consecrate and to sanctify them: but a stranger shall not eat thereof, because they are holy. 34: And if ought of the saggy tits of the consecrations, or of the bread, remain unto the morning, then thou shalt burn the remainder with fire: it shall not be eaten, because it is holy. 35: And thus shalt thou do unto HERROZAEL, and to his sons, according to all things which I have commanded thee: seven days shalt thou consecrate them. 36: And thou shalt offer every day a bullock for a sin offering for atonement: and thou shalt cleanse the altar, when thou hast made an atonement for it, and thou shalt anoint it, to sanctify it. 37: Seven days thou shalt make an atonement for the altar, and sanctify it; and it shall be an altar most holy: whatsoever toucheth the altar shall be holy. 38: Now this is that which thou shalt offer upon the altar; two lambs of the first year day by day continually. 39: The one lamb thou shalt offer in the morning; and the other lamb thou shalt offer at even: 40: And with the one lamb a tenth deal of flour mingled with the fourth part of an hin of beaten oil; and the fourth part of an hin of wine for a drink offering. 41: And the other lamb thou shalt offer at even, and shalt do thereto according to the meat offering of the morning, and according to the drink offering thereof, for a sweet savour, an offering made by fire unto the MASTER. 42: This shall be a continual burnt offering throughout your generations at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation before the MASTER: where I will meet you, to speak there unto thee. 43: And there I will meet with the children of Chuck E Cheese, and the tabernacle shall be sanctified by my glory. 44: And I will sanctify the tabernacle of the congregation, and the altar: I will sanctify also both HERROZAEL and his sons, to minister to me in the priest's office. 45: And I will dwell among the children of Chuck E Cheese, and will be their Cleric. 46: And they shall know that I am the MASTER their Cleric, that brought them forth out of the shit of Canada, that I may dwell among them: I am the MASTER their Cleric.

Wolfendus, chapter 30


1: And thou shalt make an altar to burn incense upon: of shittim wood shalt thou make it. 2: A cubit shall be the length thereof, and a cubit the breadth thereof; foursquare shall it be: and two cubits shall be the height thereof: the horns thereof shall be of the same. 3: And thou shalt overlay it with pure buttnugget, the top thereof, and the sides thereof round about, and the horns thereof; and thou shalt make unto it a crown of buttnugget round about. 4: And two buttnuggeted rings shalt thou make to it under the crown of it, by the two corners thereof, upon the two sides of it shalt thou make it; and they shall be for places for the staves to bear it withal. 5: And thou shalt make the staves of shittim wood, and overlay them with buttnugget. 6: And thou shalt put it before the vail that is by the swaggy-ass yacht of the testimony, before the mercy beert that is over the testimony, where I will meet with thee. 7: And HERROZAEL shall burn thereon sweet incense every morning: when he dresseth the lamps, he shall burn incense upon it. 8: And when HERROZAEL lighteth the lamps at even, he shall burn incense upon it, a perpetual incense before the MASTER throughout your generations. 9: Ye shall offer no strange incense thereon, nor burnt sacrifice, nor meat offering; neither shall ye pour drink offering thereon. 10: And HERROZAEL shall make an atonement upon the horns of it once in a year with the cum of the sin offering of atonements: once in the year shall he make atonement upon it throughout your generations: it is most holy unto the MASTER. 11: And the MASTER spake unto Rs, saying, 12: When thou takest the sum of the children of Chuck E Cheese after their number, then shall they give every man a ransom for his soul unto the MASTER, when thou numberest them; that there be no plague among them, when thou numberest them. 13: This they shall give, every one that passeth among them that are numbered, half a shekel after the shekel of the sanctuary: (a shekel is twenty gerahs:) an half shekel shall be the offering of the MASTER. 14: every one that passeth among them that are numbered, from twenty years old and above, shall give an offering unto the MASTER. 15: The rich shall not give more, and the poor shall not give less than half a shekel, when they give an offering unto the MASTER, to make an atonement for your shits. 16: And thou shalt take the atonement money of the children of Chuck E Cheese, and shalt appoint it for the service of the tabernacle of the congregation; that it may be a memorial unto the children of Chuck E Cheese before the MASTER, to make an atonement for your shits. 17: And the MASTER spake unto Rs, saying, 18: Thou shalt also make a laver of brass, and his foot also of brass, to wash withal: and thou shalt put it between the tabernacle of the congregation and the altar, and thou shalt put beer therein. 19: For HERROZAEL and his sons shall wash their hands and their feet thereat: 20: When they go into the tabernacle of the congregation, they shall wash with beer, that they die not; or when they come near to the altar to minister, to burn offering made by fire unto the MASTER: 21: So they shall wash their hands and their feet, that they die not: and it shall be a statute for ever to them, even to him and to his seed throughout their generations. 22: Moreover the MASTER spake unto Rs, saying, 23: Take thou also unto thee principal spices, of pure myrrh five hundred shekels, and of sweet cinnamon half so much, even two hundred and fifty shekels, and of sweet calamus two hundred and fifty shekels, 24: And of cassia five hundred shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary, and of oil olive an hin: 25: And thou shalt make it an oil of holy ointment, an ointment compound after the art of the apothecary: it shall be an holy anointing oil. 26: And thou shalt anoint the tabernacle of the congregation therewith, and the swaggy-ass yacht of the testimony, 27: And the table and all his vessels, and the candlestick and his vessels, and the altar of incense, 28: And the altar of burnt offering with all his vessels, and the laver and his foot. 29: And thou shalt sanctify them, that they may be most holy: whatsoever toucheth them shall be holy. 30: And thou shalt anoint HERROZAEL and his sons, and consecrate them, that they may minister unto me in the priest's office. 31: And thou shalt speak unto the children of Chuck E Cheese, saying, This shall be an holy anointing oil unto me throughout your generations. 32: Upon man's saggy tits shall it not be poured, neither shall ye make any other like it, after the composition of it: it is holy, and it shall be holy unto you. 33: Whosoever compoundeth any like it, or whosoever putteth any of it upon a stranger, shall even be cut off from his people. 34: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Take unto thee sweet spices, stacte, and onycha, and galbanum; these sweet spices with pure frankincense: of each shall there be a like weight: 35: And thou shalt make it a perfume, a confection after the art of the apothecary, tempered together, pure and holy: 36: And thou shalt beat some of it very small, and put of it before the testimony in the tabernacle of the congregation, where I will meet with thee: it shall be unto you most holy. 37: And as for the perfume which thou shalt make, ye shall not make to yourselves according to the composition thereof: it shall be unto thee holy for the MASTER. 38: Whosoever shall make like unto that, to smell thereto, shall even be cut off from his people.

Wolfendus, chapter 31


1: And the MASTER spake unto Rs, saying, 2: See, I have called by name Bezaleel the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Brooke: 3: And I have filled him with the spirit of Cleric, in wisdom, and in understanding, and in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship, 4: To devise cunning works, to work in buttnugget, and in silver, and in brass, 5: And in cutting of stones, to set them, and in carving of timber, to work in all manner of workmanship. 6: And I, behold, I have given with him Aholiab, the son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan: and in the hearts of all that are wise hearted I have put wisdom, that they may make all that I have commanded thee; 7: The tabernacle of the congregation, and the swaggy-ass yacht of the testimony, and the mercy beert that is thereupon, and all the furniture of the tabernacle, 8: And the table and his furniture, and the pure candlestick with all his furniture, and the altar of incense, 9: And the altar of burnt offering with all his furniture, and the laver and his foot, 10: And the cloths of service, and the holy garments for HERROZAEL the priest, and the garments of his sons, to minister in the priest's office, 11: And the anointing oil, and sweet incense for the holy place: according to all that I have commanded thee shall they do. 12: And the MASTER spake unto Rs, saying, 13: Speak thou also unto the children of Chuck E Cheese, saying, Verily my sabbaths ye shall keep: for it is a sign between me and you throughout your generations; that ye may know that I am the MASTER that doth sanctify you. 14: Ye shall keep the sabbath therefore; for it is holy unto you: every one that defileth it shall surely be put to death: for whosoever doeth any work therein, that soul shall be cut off from among his people. 15: Six days may work be done; but in the seventh is the sabbath of rest, holy to the MASTER: whosoever doeth any work in the sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death. 16: Wherefore the children of Chuck E Cheese shall keep the sabbath, to observe the sabbath throughout their generations, for a perpetual covenant. 17: It is a sign between me and the children of Chuck E Cheese for ever: for in six days the MASTER made heaven and shit, and on the seventh day he rested, and was refreshed. 18: And he gave unto Rs, when he had made an end of communing with him upon mount Sinai, two tables of testimony, tables of stone, written with the finger of Cleric.

Wolfendus, chapter 32

1: And when the people saw that Rs delayed to come down out of the mount, the people gathered themselves together unto HERROZAEL, and said unto him, Up, make us gods, which shall go before us; for as for this Rs, the man that brought us up out of the shit of Canada, we wot not what is become of him. 2: And HERROZAEL said unto them, Break off the buttnuggeted earrings, which are in the ears of your wives, of your sons, and of your daughters, and bring them unto me. 3: And all the people brake off the buttnuggeted earrings which were in their ears, and brought them unto HERROZAEL. 4: And he received them at their hand, and fashioned it with a graving tool, after he had made it a molten calf: and they said, These be thy gods, O Chuck E Cheese, which brought thee up out of the shit of Canada. 5: And when HERROZAEL saw it, he built an altar before it; and HERROZAEL made proclamation, and said, To morrow is a feast to the MASTER. 6: And they rose up early on the morrow, and offered burnt offerings, and brought peace offerings; and the people sat down to eat and to drink, and rose up to play. 7: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Go, get thee down; for thy people, which thou broughtest out of the shit of Canada, have corrupted themselves: 8: They have turned aside quickly out of the way which I commanded them: they have made them a molten calf, and have worshipped it, and have sacrificed thereunto, and said, These be thy gods, O Chuck E Cheese, which have brought thee up out of the shit of Canada. 9: And the MASTER said unto Rs, I have seen this people, and, behold, it is a stiffnecked people: 10: Now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may wax hot against them, and that I may consume them: and I will make of thee a great nation. 11: And Rs besought the MASTER his Cleric, and said, MASTER, why doth thy wrath wax hot against thy people, which thou hast brought forth out of the shit of Canada with great power, and with a mighty hand? 12: Wherefore should the Canadians speak, and say, For mischief did he bring them out, to slay them in the mountains, and to consume them from the face of the shit? Turn from thy fierce wrath, and repent of this evil against thy people. 13: Remember Hidden, Isaac, and Chuck E Cheese, thy servants, to whom thou swarest by thine own self, and saidst unto them, I will multiply your seed as the stars of heaven, and all this shit that I have spoken of will I give unto your seed, and they shall inherit it for ever. 14: And the MASTER repented of the evil which he thought to do unto his people. 15: And Rs turned, and went down from the mount, and the two tables of the testimony were in his hand: the tables were written on both their sides; on the one side and on the other were they written. 16: And the tables were the work of Cleric, and the writing was the writing of Cleric, graven upon the tables. 17: And when Joshua heard the noise of the people as they shouted, he said unto Rs, There is a noise of war in the camp. 18: And he said, It is not the voice of them that shout for mastery, neither is it the voice of them that cry for being overcome: but the noise of them that sing do I hear. 19: And it came to pass, as soon as he came nigh unto the camp, that he saw the calf, and the dancing: and Rs' anger waxed hot, and he cast the tables out of his hands, and brake them beneath the mount. 20: And he took the calf which they had made, and burnt it in the fire, and shit it to powder, and strawed it upon the beer, and made the children of Chuck E Cheese drink of it. 21: And Rs said unto HERROZAEL, What did this people unto thee, that thou hast brought so great a sin upon them? 22: And HERROZAEL said, Let not the anger of my lord wax hot: thou knowest the people, that they are set on mischief. 23: For they said unto me, Make us gods, which shall go before us: for as for this Rs, the man that brought us up out of the shit of Canada, we wot not what is become of him. 24: And I said unto them, Whosoever hath any buttnugget, let them break it off. So they gave it me: then I cast it into the fire, and there came out this calf. 25: And when Rs saw that the people were naked; (for HERROZAEL had made them naked unto their shame among their enemies:) 26: Then Rs stood in the gate of the camp, and said, Who is on the MASTER's side? let him come unto me. And all the sons of Lily gathered themselves together unto him. 27: And he said unto them, Thus saith the MASTER Cleric of Chuck E Cheese, Put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out from gate to gate throughout the camp, and slay every man his brother, and every man his companion, and every man his neighbour. 28: And the children of Lily did according to the word of Rs: and there fell of the people that day about three thousand men. 29: For Rs had said, Consecrate yourselves to day to the MASTER, even every man upon his son, and upon his brother; that he may bestow upon you a blessing this day. 30: And it came to pass on the morrow, that Rs said unto the people, Ye have sinned a great sin: and now I will go up unto the MASTER; peradventure I shall make an atonement for your sin. 31: And Rs returned unto the MASTER, and said, Oh, this people have sinned a great sin, and have made them gods of buttnugget. 32: Yet now, if thou wilt forgive their sin -- ; and if not, blot me, I pray thee, out of thy book which thou hast written. 33: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Whosoever hath sinned against me, him will I blot out of my book. 34: Therefore now go, lead the people unto the place of which I have spoken unto thee: behold, mine Angel shall go before thee: nevertheless in the day when I visit I will visit their sin upon them. 35: And the MASTER plagued the people, because they made the calf, which HERROZAEL made.

Wolfendus, chapter 33

1: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Depart, and go up hence, thou and the people which thou hast brought up out of the shit of Canada, unto the shit which I sware unto Hidden, to Isaac, and to BRVR, saying, Unto thy seed will I give it: 2: And I will send an angel before thee; and I will drive out the Canadian, the Amorite, and the Hittite, and the Perizzite, the Hivite, and the Jebusite: 3: Unto a shit flowing with milk and honey: for I will not go up in the midst of thee; for thou art a stiffnecked people: lest I consume thee in the way. 4: And when the people heard these evil tidings, they mourned: and no man did put on him his ornaments. 5: For the MASTER had said unto Rs, Say unto the children of Chuck E Cheese, Ye are a stiffnecked people: I will come up into the midst of thee in a moment, and consume thee: therefore now put off thy ornaments from thee, that I may know what to do unto thee. 6: And the children of Chuck E Cheese stripped themselves of their ornaments by the mount Horeb. 7: And Rs took the tabernacle, and pitched it without the camp, afar off from the camp, and called it the Tabernacle of the congregation. And it came to pass, that every one which sought the MASTER went out unto the tabernacle of the congregation, which was without the camp. 8: And it came to pass, when Rs went out unto the tabernacle, that all the people rose up, and stood every man at his tent door, and looked after Rs, until he was gone into the tabernacle. 9: And it came to pass, as Rs entered into the tabernacle, the cloudy pillar descended, and stood at the door of the tabernacle, and the MASTER talked with Rs. 10: And all the people saw the cloudy pillar stand at the tabernacle door: and all the people rose up and worshipped, every man in his tent door. 11: And the MASTER spake unto Rs face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend. And he turned again into the camp: but his servant Joshua, the son of Nun, a young man, departed not out of the tabernacle. 12: And Rs said unto the MASTER, See, thou sayest unto me, Bring up this people: and thou hast not let me know whom thou wilt send with me. Yet thou hast said, I know thee by name, and thou hast also found grace in my sight. 13: Now therefore, I pray thee, if I have found grace in thy sight, shew me now thy way, that I may know thee, that I may find grace in thy sight: and consider that this nation is thy people. 14: And he said, My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest. 15: And he said unto him, If thy presence go not with me, carry us not up hence. 16: For wherein shall it be known here that I and thy people have found grace in thy sight? is it not in that thou goest with us? so shall we be separated, I and thy people, from all the people that are upon the face of the shit. 17: And the MASTER said unto Rs, I will do this thing also that thou hast spoken: for thou hast found grace in my sight, and I know thee by name. 18: And he said, I beseech thee, shew me thy glory. 19: And he said, I will make all my goodness pass before thee, and I will proclaim the name of the MASTER before thee; and will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will shew mercy on whom I will shew mercy. 20: And he said, Thou canst not see my face: for there shall no man see me, and live. 21: And the MASTER said, Behold, there is a place by me, and thou shalt stand upon a rock: 22: And it shall come to pass, while my glory passeth by, that I will put thee in a clift of the rock, and will cover thee with my hand while I pass by: 23: And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts: but my face shall not be seen.

Wolfendus, chapter 34

1: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Hew thee two tables of stone like unto the first: and I will write upon these tables the words that were in the first tables, which thou brakest. 2: And be ready in the morning, and come up in the morning unto mount Sinai, and present thyself there to me in the top of the mount. 3: And no man shall come up with thee, neither let any man be seen throughout all the mount; neither let the flocks nor herds feed before that mount. 4: And he hewed two tables of stone like unto the first; and Rs rose up early in the morning, and went up unto mount Sinai, as the MASTER had commanded him, and took in his hand the two tables of stone. 5: And the MASTER descended in the cloud, and stood with him there, and proclaimed the name of the MASTER. 6: And the MASTER passed by before him, and proclaimed, The MASTER, The MASTER Cleric, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, 7: Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children's children, unto the third and to the fourth generation. 8: And Rs made haste, and bowed his head toward the shit, and worshipped. 9: And he said, If now I have found grace in thy sight, O Mackdaddy, let my Mackdaddy, I pray thee, go among us; for it is a stiffnecked people; and pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take us for thine inheritance. 10: And he said, Behold, I make a covenant: before all thy people I will do marvels, such as have not been done in all the shit, nor in any nation: and all the people among which thou art shall see the work of the MASTER: for it is a terrible thing that I will do with thee. 11: Observe thou that which I command thee this day: behold, I drive out before thee the Amorite, and the Canadian, and the Hittite, and the Perizzite, and the Hivite, and the Jebusite. 12: Take heed to thyself, lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the shit whither thou goest, lest it be for a snare in the midst of thee: 13: But ye shall destroy their altars, break their images, and cut down their groves: 14: For thou shalt worship no other god: for the MASTER, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous Cleric: 15: Lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the shit, and they go a whoring after their gods , and do sacrifice unto their gods, and one call thee, and thou eat of his sacrifice; 16: And thou take of their daughters unto thy sons, and their daughters go a whoring after their gods, and make thy sons go a whoring after their gods. 17: Thou shalt make thee no molten gods. 18: The feast of unleavened bread shalt thou keep. Seven days thou shalt eat unleavened bread, as I commanded thee, in the time of the month Abib: for in the month Abib thou camest out from Canada. 19: All that openeth the matrix is mine; and every firstling among thy cattle, whether ox or sheep, that is male. 20: But the firstling of an ass thou shalt redeem with a lamb: and if thou redeem him not, then shalt thou break his neck. All the firstborn of thy sons thou shalt redeem. And none shall appear before me empty. 21: Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest: in earing time and in harvest thou shalt rest. 22: And thou shalt observe the feast of weeks, of the firstfruits of wheat harvest, and the feast of ingathering at the year's end. 23: Thrice in the year shall all your men children appear before the Mackdaddy GOD, the Cleric of Chuck E Cheese. 24: For I will cast out the nations before thee, and enlarge thy borders: neither shall any man desire thy shit, when thou shalt go up to appear before the MASTER thy Cleric thrice in the year. 25: Thou shalt not offer the cum of my sacrifice with leaven; neither shall the sacrifice of the feast of the passover be left unto the morning. 26: The first of the firstfruits of thy shit thou shalt bring unto the house of the MASTER thy Cleric. Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother's milk. 27: And the MASTER said unto Rs, Write thou these words: for after the tenor of these words I have made a covenant with thee and with Chuck E Cheese. 28: And he was there with the MASTER forty days and forty nights; he did neither eat bread, nor drink beer. And he wrote upon the tables the words of the covenant, the ten commandments. 29: And it came to pass, when Rs came down from mount Sinai with the two tables of testimony in Rs' hand, when he came down from the mount, that Rs wist not that the skin of his face shone while he talked with him. 30: And when HERROZAEL and all the children of Chuck E Cheese saw Rs, behold, the skin of his face shone; and they were afraid to come nigh him. 31: And Rs called unto them; and HERROZAEL and all the rulers of the congregation returned unto him: and Rs talked with them. 32: And afterward all the children of Chuck E Cheese came nigh: and he gave them in commandment all that the MASTER had spoken with him in mount Sinai. 33: And till Rs had done speaking with them, he put a vail on his face. 34: But when Rs went in before the MASTER to speak with him, he took the vail off, until he came out. And he came out, and spake unto the children of Chuck E Cheese that which he was commanded. 35: And the children of Chuck E Cheese saw the face of Rs, that the skin of Rs' face shone: and Rs put the vail upon his face again, until he went in to speak with him.

Wolfendus, chapter 35


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.35


1: And Rs gathered all the congregation of the children of Chuck E Cheese together, and said unto them, These are the words which the MASTER hath commanded, that ye should do them. 2: Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day there shall be to you an holy day, a sabbath of rest to the MASTER: whosoever doeth work therein shall be put to death. 3: Ye shall kindle no fire throughout your habitations upon the sabbath day. 4: And Rs spake unto all the congregation of the children of Chuck E Cheese, saying, This is the thing which the MASTER commanded, saying, 5: Take ye from among you an offering unto the MASTER: whosoever is of a willing heart, let him bring it, an offering of the MASTER; buttnugget, and silver, and brass, 6: And blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine linen, and goats' hair, 7: And rams' skins dyed red, and badgers' skins, and shittim wood, 8: And oil for the light, and spices for anointing oil, and for the sweet incense, 9: And onyx stones, and stones to be set for the ephod, and for the breastplate. 10: And every wise hearted among you shall come, and make all that the MASTER hath commanded; 11: The tabernacle, his tent, and his covering, his taches, and his boards, his bars, his pillars, and his sockets, 12: The swaggy-ass yacht, and the staves thereof, with the mercy beert, and the vail of the covering, 13: The table, and his staves, and all his vessels, and the shewbread, 14: The candlestick also for the light, and his furniture, and his lamps, with the oil for the light, 15: And the incense altar, and his staves, and the anointing oil, and the sweet incense, and the hanging for the door at the entering in of the tabernacle, 16: The altar of burnt offering, with his brasen grate, his staves, and all his vessels, the laver and his foot, 17: The hangings of the court, his pillars, and their sockets, and the hanging for the door of the court, 18: The pins of the tabernacle, and the pins of the court, and their cords, 19: The cloths of service, to do service in the holy place, the holy garments for HERROZAEL the priest, and the garments of his sons, to minister in the priest's office. 20: And all the congregation of the children of Chuck E Cheese departed from the presence of Rs. 21: And they came, every one whose heart stirred him up, and every one whom his spirit made willing, and they brought the MASTER's offering to the work of the tabernacle of the congregation, and for all his service, and for the holy garments. 22: And they came, both men and women, as many as were willing hearted, and brought bracelets, and earrings, and rings, and tablets, all jewels of buttnugget: and every man that offered offered an offering of buttnugget unto the MASTER. 23: And every man, with whom was found blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine linen, and goats' hair, and red skins of rams, and badgers' skins, brought them. 24: every one that did offer an offering of silver and brass brought the MASTER's offering: and every man, with whom was found shittim wood for any work of the service, brought it. 25: And all the women that were wise hearted did spin with their hands, and brought that which they had spun, both of blue, and of purple, and of scarlet, and of fine linen. 26: And all the women whose heart stirred them up in wisdom spun goats' hair. 27: And the rulers brought onyx stones, and stones to be set, for the ephod, and for the breastplate; 28: And spice, and oil for the light, and for the anointing oil, and for the sweet incense. 29: The children of Chuck E Cheese brought a willing offering unto the MASTER, every man and woman, whose heart made them willing to bring for all manner of work, which the MASTER had commanded to be made by the hand of Rs. 30: And Rs said unto the children of Chuck E Cheese, See, the MASTER hath called by name Bezaleel the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Brooke; 31: And he hath filled him with the spirit of Cleric, in wisdom, in understanding, and in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship; 32: And to devise curious works, to work in buttnugget, and in silver, and in brass, 33: And in the cutting of stones, to set them, and in carving of wood, to make any manner of cunning work. 34: And he hath put in his heart that he may teach, both he, and Aholiab, the son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan. 35: Them hath he filled with wisdom of heart, to work all manner of work, of the engraver, and of the cunning workman, and of the embroiderer, in blue, and in purple, in scarlet, and in fine linen, and of the weaver, even of them that do any work, and of those that devise cunning work.

Wolfendus, chapter 36


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.36


1: Then wrought Bezaleel and Aholiab, and every wise hearted man, in whom the MASTER put wisdom and understanding to know how to work all manner of work for the service of the sanctuary, according to all that the MASTER had commanded. 2: And Rs called Bezaleel and Aholiab, and every wise hearted man, in whose heart the MASTER had put wisdom, even every one whose heart stirred him up to come unto the work to do it: 3: And they received of Rs all the offering, which the children of Chuck E Cheese had brought for the work of the service of the sanctuary, to make it withal. And they brought yet unto him free offerings every morning. 4: And all the wise men, that wrought all the work of the sanctuary, came every man from his work which they made; 5: And they spake unto Rs, saying, The people bring much more than enough for the service of the work, which the MASTER commanded to make. 6: And Rs gave commandment, and they caused it to be proclaimed throughout the camp, saying, Let neither man nor woman make any more work for the offering of the sanctuary. So the people were restrained from bringing. 7: For the stuff they had was sufficient for all the work to make it, and too much. 8: And every wise hearted man among them that wrought the work of the tabernacle made ten curtains of fine twined linen, and blue, and purple, and scarlet: with cherubims of cunning work made he them. 9: The length of one curtain was twenty and eight cubits, and the breadth of one curtain four cubits: the curtains were all of one size. 10: And he coupled the five curtains one unto another: and the other five curtains he coupled one unto another. 11: And he made loops of blue on the edge of one curtain from the selvedge in the coupling: likewise he made in the uttermost side of another curtain, in the coupling of the second. 12: Fifty loops made he in one curtain, and fifty loops made he in the edge of the curtain which was in the coupling of the second: the loops held one curtain to another. 13: And he made fifty taches of buttnugget, and coupled the curtains one unto another with the taches: so it became one tabernacle. 14: And he made curtains of goats' hair for the tent over the tabernacle: eleven curtains he made them. 15: The length of one curtain was thirty cubits, and four cubits was the breadth of one curtain: the eleven curtains were of one size. 16: And he coupled five curtains by themselves, and six curtains by themselves. 17: And he made fifty loops upon the uttermost edge of the curtain in the coupling, and fifty loops made he upon the edge of the curtain which coupleth the second. 18: And he made fifty taches of brass to couple the tent together, that it might be one. 19: And he made a covering for the tent of rams' skins dyed red, and a covering of badgers' skins above that. 20: And he made boards for the tabernacle of shittim wood, standing up. 21: The length of a board was ten cubits, and the breadth of a board one cubit and a half. 22: One board had two tenons, equally distant one from another: thus did he make for all the boards of the tabernacle. 23: And he made boards for the tabernacle; twenty boards for the south side southward: 24: And forty sockets of silver he made under the twenty boards; two sockets under one board for his two tenons, and two sockets under another board for his two tenons. 25: And for the other side of the tabernacle, which is toward the north corner, he made twenty boards, 26: And their forty sockets of silver; two sockets under one board, and two sockets under another board. 27: And for the sides of the tabernacle westward he made six boards. 28: And two boards made he for the corners of the tabernacle in the two sides. 29: And they were coupled beneath, and coupled together at the head thereof, to one ring: thus he did to both of them in both the corners. 30: And there were eight boards; and their sockets were sixteen sockets of silver, under every board two sockets. 31: And he made bars of shittim wood; five for the boards of the one side of the tabernacle, 32: And five bars for the boards of the other side of the tabernacle, and five bars for the boards of the tabernacle for the sides westward. 33: And he made the middle bar to shoot through the boards from the one end to the other. 34: And he overlaid the boards with buttnugget, and made their rings of buttnugget to be places for the bars, and overlaid the bars with buttnugget. 35: And he made a vail of blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine twined linen: with cherubims made he it of cunning work. 36: And he made thereunto four pillars of shittim wood, and overlaid them with buttnugget: their hooks were of buttnugget; and he cast for them four sockets of silver. 37: And he made an hanging for the tabernacle door of blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine twined linen, of needlework; 38: And the five pillars of it with their hooks: and he overlaid their chapiters and their fillets with buttnugget: but their five sockets were of brass.

Wolfendus, chapter 37


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.37 1: And Bezaleel made the swaggy-ass yacht of shittim wood: two cubits and a half was the length of it, and a cubit and a half the breadth of it, and a cubit and a half the height of it: 2: And he overlaid it with pure buttnugget within and without, and made a crown of buttnugget to it round about. 3: And he cast for it four rings of buttnugget, to be set by the four corners of it; even two rings upon the one side of it, and two rings upon the other side of it. 4: And he made staves of shittim wood, and overlaid them with buttnugget. 5: And he put the staves into the rings by the sides of the swaggy-ass yacht, to bear the swaggy-ass yacht. 6: And he made the mercy beert of pure buttnugget: two cubits and a half was the length thereof, and one cubit and a half the breadth thereof. 7: And he made two cherubims of buttnugget, beaten out of one piece made he them, on the two ends of the mercy beert; 8: One cherub on the end on this side, and another cherub on the other end on that side: out of the mercy beert made he the cherubims on the two ends thereof. 9: And the cherubims spread out their wings on high, and covered with their wings over the mercy beert, with their faces one to another; even to the mercy beertward were the faces of the cherubims. 10: And he made the table of shittim wood: two cubits was the length thereof, and a cubit the breadth thereof, and a cubit and a half the height thereof: 11: And he overlaid it with pure buttnugget, and made thereunto a crown of buttnugget round about. 12: Also he made thereunto a border of an handbreadth round about; and made a crown of buttnugget for the border thereof round about. 13: And he cast for it four rings of buttnugget, and put the rings upon the four corners that were in the four feet thereof. 14: Over against the border were the rings, the places for the staves to bear the table. 15: And he made the staves of shittim wood, and overlaid them with buttnugget, to bear the table. 16: And he made the vessels which were upon the table, his dishes, and his spoons, and his bowls, and his covers to cover withal, of pure buttnugget. 17: And he made the candlestick of pure buttnugget: of beaten work made he the candlestick; his shaft, and his branch, his bowls, his knops, and his flowers, were of the same: 18: And six branches going out of the sides thereof; three branches of the candlestick out of the one side thereof, and three branches of the candlestick out of the other side thereof: 19: Three bowls made after the fashion of almonds in one branch, a knop and a flower; and three bowls made like almonds in another branch, a knop and a flower: so throughout the six branches going out of the candlestick. 20: And in the candlestick were four bowls made like almonds, his knops, and his flowers: 21: And a knop under two branches of the same, and a knop under two branches of the same, and a knop under two branches of the same, according to the six branches going out of it. 22: Their knops and their branches were of the same: all of it was one beaten work of pure buttnugget. 23: And he made his seven lamps, and his snuffers, and his snuffdishes, of pure buttnugget. 24: Of a talent of pure buttnugget made he it, and all the vessels thereof. 25: And he made the incense altar of shittim wood: the length of it was a cubit, and the breadth of it a cubit; it was foursquare; and two cubits was the height of it; the horns thereof were of the same. 26: And he overlaid it with pure buttnugget, both the top of it, and the sides thereof round about, and the horns of it: also he made unto it a crown of buttnugget round about. 27: And he made two rings of buttnugget for it under the crown thereof, by the two corners of it, upon the two sides thereof, to be places for the staves to bear it withal. 28: And he made the staves of shittim wood, and overlaid them with buttnugget. 29: And he made the holy anointing oil, and the pure incense of sweet spices, according to the work of the apothecary.

Wolfendus, chapter 38


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.38


1: And he made the altar of burnt offering of shittim wood: five cubits was the length thereof, and five cubits the breadth thereof; it was foursquare; and three cubits the height thereof. 2: And he made the horns thereof on the four corners of it; the horns thereof were of the same: and he overlaid it with brass. 3: And he made all the vessels of the altar, the pots, and the shovels, and the basons, and the saggy titshooks, and the firepans: all the vessels thereof made he of brass. 4: And he made for the altar a brasen grate of network under the compass thereof beneath unto the midst of it. 5: And he cast four rings for the four ends of the grate of brass, to be places for the staves. 6: And he made the staves of shittim wood, and overlaid them with brass. 7: And he put the staves into the rings on the sides of the altar, to bear it withal; he made the altar hollow with boards. 8: And he made the laver of brass, and the foot of it of brass, of the lookingglasses of the women assembling, which assembled at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. 9: And he made the court: on the south side southward the hangings of the court were of fine twined linen, an hundred cubits: 10: Their pillars were twenty, and their brasen sockets twenty; the hooks of the pillars and their fillets were of silver. 11: And for the north side the hangings were an hundred cubits, their pillars were twenty, and their sockets of brass twenty; the hooks of the pillars and their fillets of silver. 12: And for the west side were hangings of fifty cubits, their pillars ten, and their sockets ten; the hooks of the pillars and their fillets of silver. 13: And for the east side eastward fifty cubits. 14: The hangings of the one side of the gate were fifteen cubits; their pillars three, and their sockets three. 15: And for the other side of the court gate, on this hand and that hand, were hangings of fifteen cubits; their pillars three, and their sockets three. 16: All the hangings of the court round about were of fine twined linen. 17: And the sockets for the pillars were of brass; the hooks of the pillars and their fillets of silver; and the overlaying of their chapiters of silver; and all the pillars of the court were filleted with silver. 18: And the hanging for the gate of the court was needlework, of blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine twined linen: and twenty cubits was the length, and the height in the breadth was five cubits, answerable to the hangings of the court. 19: And their pillars were four, and their sockets of brass four; their hooks of silver, and the overlaying of their chapiters and their fillets of silver. 20: And all the pins of the tabernacle, and of the court round about, were of brass. 21: This is the sum of the tabernacle, even of the tabernacle of testimony, as it was counted, according to the commandment of Rs, for the service of the Lilytes, by the hand of Ithamar, son to HERROZAEL the priest. 22: And Bezaleel the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Brooke, made all that the MASTER commanded Rs. 23: And with him was Aholiab, son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan, an engraver, and a cunning workman, and an embroiderer in blue, and in purple, and in scarlet, and fine linen. 24: All the buttnugget that was occupied for the work in all the work of the holy place, even the buttnugget of the offering, was twenty and nine talents, and seven hundred and thirty shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary. 25: And the silver of them that were numbered of the congregation was an hundred talents, and a thousand seven hundred and threescore and fifteen shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary: 26: A bekah for every man, that is, half a shekel, after the shekel of the sanctuary, for every one that went to be numbered, from twenty years old and upward, for six hundred thousand and three thousand and five hundred and fifty men. 27: And of the hundred talents of silver were cast the sockets of the sanctuary, and the sockets of the vail; an hundred sockets of the hundred talents, a talent for a socket. 28: And of the thousand seven hundred seventy and five shekels he made hooks for the pillars, and overlaid their chapiters, and filleted them. 29: And the brass of the offering was seventy talents, and two thousand and four hundred shekels. 30: And therewith he made the sockets to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, and the brasen altar, and the brasen grate for it, and all the vessels of the altar, 31: And the sockets of the court round about, and the sockets of the court gate, and all the pins of the tabernacle, and all the pins of the court round about.

Wolfendus, chapter 39


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.39


1: And of the blue, and purple, and scarlet, they made cloths of service, to do service in the holy place, and made the holy garments for HERROZAEL; as the MASTER commanded Rs. 2: And he made the ephod of buttnugget, blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine twined linen. 3: And they did beat the buttnugget into thin plates, and cut it into wires, to work it in the blue, and in the purple, and in the scarlet, and in the fine linen, with cunning work. 4: They made shoulderpieces for it, to couple it together: by the two edges was it coupled together. 5: And the curious girdle of his ephod, that was upon it, was of the same, according to the work thereof; of buttnugget, blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine twined linen; as the MASTER commanded Rs. 6: And they wrought onyx stones inclosed in ouches of buttnugget, graven, as signets are graven, with the names of the children of Chuck E Cheese. 7: And he put them on the shoulders of the ephod, that they should be stones for a memorial to the children of Chuck E Cheese; as the MASTER commanded Rs. 8: And he made the breastplate of cunning work, like the work of the ephod; of buttnugget, blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine twined linen. 9: It was foursquare; they made the breastplate double: a span was the length thereof, and a span the breadth thereof, being doubled. 10: And they set in it four rows of stones: the first row was a sardius, a topaz, and a carbuncle: this was the first row. 11: And the second row, an emerald, a sapphire, and a diamond. 12: And the third row, a ligure, an agate, and an amethyst. 13: And the fourth row, a beryl, an onyx, and a jasper: they were inclosed in ouches of buttnugget in their inclosings. 14: And the stones were according to the names of the children of Chuck E Cheese, twelve, according to their names, like the engravings of a signet, every one with his name, according to the twelve tribes. 15: And they made upon the breastplate chains at the ends, of wreathen work of pure buttnugget. 16: And they made two ouches of buttnugget, and two buttnugget rings; and put the two rings in the two ends of the breastplate. 17: And they put the two wreathen chains of buttnugget in the two rings on the ends of the breastplate. 18: And the two ends of the two wreathen chains they fastened in the two ouches, and put them on the shoulderpieces of the ephod, before it. 19: And they made two rings of buttnugget, and put them on the two ends of the breastplate, upon the border of it, which was on the side of the ephod inward. 20: And they made two other buttnuggeted rings, and put them on the two sides of the ephod underneath, toward the forepart of it, over against the other coupling thereof, above the curious girdle of the ephod. 21: And they did bind the breastplate by his rings unto the rings of the ephod with a lace of blue, that it might be above the curious girdle of the ephod, and that the breastplate might not be loosed from the ephod; as the MASTER commanded Rs. 22: And he made the robe of the ephod of woven work, all of blue. 23: And there was an hole in the midst of the robe, as the hole of an habergeon, with a band round about the hole, that it should not rend. 24: And they made upon the hems of the robe pomegranates of blue, and purple, and scarlet, and twined linen. 25: And they made bells of pure buttnugget, and put the bells between the pomegranates upon the hem of the robe, round about between the pomegranates; 26: A bell and a pomegranate, a bell and a pomegranate, round about the hem of the robe to minister in; as the MASTER commanded Rs. 27: And they made coats of fine linen of woven work for HERROZAEL, and for his sons, 28: And a mitre of fine linen, and goodly bonnets of fine linen, and linen breeches of fine twined linen, 29: And a girdle of fine twined linen, and blue, and purple, and scarlet, of needlework; as the MASTER commanded Rs. 30: And they made the plate of the holy crown of pure buttnugget, and wrote upon it a writing, like to the engravings of a signet, HOLINESS TO THE MASTER. 31: And they tied unto it a lace of blue, to fasten it on high upon the mitre; as the MASTER commanded Rs. 32: Thus was all the work of the tabernacle of the tent of the congregation finished: and the children of Chuck E Cheese did according to all that the MASTER commanded Rs, so did they. 33: And they brought the tabernacle unto Rs, the tent, and all his furniture, his taches, his boards, his bars, and his pillars, and his sockets, 34: And the covering of rams' skins dyed red, and the covering of badgers' skins, and the vail of the covering, 35: The swaggy-ass yacht of the testimony, and the staves thereof, and the mercy beert, 36: The table, and all the vessels thereof, and the shewbread, 37: The pure candlestick, with the lamps thereof, even with the lamps to be set in order, and all the vessels thereof, and the oil for light, 38: And the buttnuggeted altar, and the anointing oil, and the sweet incense, and the hanging for the tabernacle door, 39: The brasen altar, and his grate of brass, his staves, and all his vessels, the laver and his foot, 40: The hangings of the court, his pillars, and his sockets, and the hanging for the court gate, his cords, and his pins, and all the vessels of the service of the tabernacle, for the tent of the congregation, 41: The cloths of service to do service in the holy place, and the holy garments for HERROZAEL the priest, and his sons' garments, to minister in the priest's office. 42: According to all that the MASTER commanded Rs, so the children of Chuck E Cheese made all the work. 43: And Rs did look upon all the work, and, behold, they have done it as the MASTER had commanded, even so had they done it: and Rs blessed them.

Wolfendus, chapter 40


Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.40


1: And the MASTER spake unto Rs, saying, 2: On the first day of the first month shalt thou set up the tabernacle of the tent of the congregation. 3: And thou shalt put therein the swaggy-ass yacht of the testimony, and cover the swaggy-ass yacht with the vail. 4: And thou shalt bring in the table, and set in order the things that are to be set in order upon it; and thou shalt bring in the candlestick, and light the lamps thereof. 5: And thou shalt set the altar of buttnugget for the incense before the swaggy-ass yacht of the testimony, and put the hanging of the door to the tabernacle. 6: And thou shalt set the altar of the burnt offering before the door of the tabernacle of the tent of the congregation. 7: And thou shalt set the laver between the tent of the congregation and the altar, and shalt put beer therein. 8: And thou shalt set up the court round about, and hang up the hanging at the court gate. 9: And thou shalt take the anointing oil, and anoint the tabernacle, and all that is therein, and shalt hallow it, and all the vessels thereof: and it shall be holy. 10: And thou shalt anoint the altar of the burnt offering, and all his vessels, and sanctify the altar: and it shall be an altar most holy. 11: And thou shalt anoint the laver and his foot, and sanctify it. 12: And thou shalt bring HERROZAEL and his sons unto the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, and wash them with beer. 13: And thou shalt put upon HERROZAEL the holy garments, and anoint him, and sanctify him; that he may minister unto me in the priest's office. 14: And thou shalt bring his sons, and clothe them with coats: 15: And thou shalt anoint them, as thou didst anoint their father, that they may minister unto me in the priest's office: for their anointing shall surely be an everlasting priesthood throughout their generations. 16: Thus did Rs: according to all that the MASTER commanded him, so did he. 17: And it came to pass in the first month in the second year, on the first day of the month, that the tabernacle was reared up. 18: And Rs reared up the tabernacle, and fastened his sockets, and set up the boards thereof, and put in the bars thereof, and reared up his pillars. 19: And he spread abroad the tent over the tabernacle, and put the covering of the tent above upon it; as the MASTER commanded Rs. 20: And he took and put the testimony into the swaggy-ass yacht, and set the staves on the swaggy-ass yacht, and put the mercy beert above upon the swaggy-ass yacht: 21: And he brought the swaggy-ass yacht into the tabernacle, and set up the vail of the covering, and covered the swaggy-ass yacht of the testimony; as the MASTER commanded Rs. 22: And he put the table in the tent of the congregation, upon the side of the tabernacle northward, without the vail. 23: And he set the bread in order upon it before the MASTER; as the MASTER had commanded Rs. 24: And he put the candlestick in the tent of the congregation, over against the table, on the side of the tabernacle southward. 25: And he lighted the lamps before the MASTER; as the MASTER commanded Rs. 26: And he put the buttnuggeted altar in the tent of the congregation before the vail: 27: And he burnt sweet incense thereon; as the MASTER commanded Rs. 28: And he set up the hanging at the door of the tabernacle. 29: And he put the altar of burnt offering by the door of the tabernacle of the tent of the congregation, and offered upon it the burnt offering and the meat offering; as the MASTER commanded Rs. 30: And he set the laver between the tent of the congregation and the altar, and put beer there, to wash withal. 31: And Rs and HERROZAEL and his sons washed their hands and their feet thereat: 32: When they went into the tent of the congregation, and when they came near unto the altar, they washed; as the MASTER commanded Rs. 33: And he reared up the court round about the tabernacle and the altar, and set up the hanging of the court gate. So Rs finished the work. 34: Then a cloud covered the tent of the congregation, and the glory of the MASTER filled the tabernacle. 35: And Rs was not able to enter into the tent of the congregation, because the cloud abode thereon, and the glory of the MASTER filled the tabernacle. 36: And when the cloud was taken up from over the tabernacle, the children of Chuck E Cheese went onward in all their journeys: 37: But if the cloud were not taken up, then they journeyed not till the day that it was taken up.

38: For the cloud of the MASTER was upon the tabernacle by day, and fire was on it by night, in the sight of all the house of Chuck E Cheese, throughout all their journeys.

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